Friday, May 31, 2002

The Joneses

{Originally Posted on Blogger}

One more day and I am out of the hole in the wall I live in. Just in time too. I guess all the four legged (or more) have decided to move in before my lease is up. The other day I lost a duel with a mouse. The little fucker ran right by me as I am playing a game. So, I made it my mission to catch Mickey. Of course, this little shit was too fast for me. Rocky was no help. It darted right by him and this dog has the nerve to look at me after the fact like “did you see that?” So what did I learn? I learned that mice can jump. I corned the bastard in between some books…so I started pushing that in…the thing jumped out!!! I was so pissed!

Anyway, thank god I don’t have do deal with this shit anymore. I told Mr. Furley to patch that hole under the sink when I first moved in, but you know how he is. I even wont go into the spider situation. “Go Webs!” If you think that is bad. I received in AOL 7.0 cd in the mail saying “We want you back”. God…that cd was so hard to shred!

Speaking of shit that is unreal. Have you ever been in a situation where your friends seem to do everything you do? Or better yet, they try to “one up” you. Well, than your not alone! Lets see…(not that I am counting) when I got a dog….They got a dog. When I got a new computer…They got a new computer. When I said I was getting a PlayStation….”YOOOO, Guess what I got!!!!" (Josie, don’t They have a GameCube too?). So when we decide we are getting married at City Hall…guess what They are doing in a few weeks? BITERS TO MY STYLE HERE’S A CONTRIBUTION!!!

On a final note, I went to Friendly's (again) and a fugly-ass (so ugly she is going to hell) lady sat in the booth behind me. This behemoth coughed up a fucking lung! That disgusts me so much. You want to eat at fine dining establishment and some fucking troll is hacking all over the place. That is how a brother can catch cooties.

Thursday, May 16, 2002

Car Wars...

{Orginally Posted on Blogger}

Well, I seem to be getting daring at my age. For the second time in 5 years I decided to go to a Midnight showing of STAR WARS EPISODE II. Of course, I was blown away by this movie. It was all that (trust me me it was). The sad thing is that it is now 8:30 am and I am DEAD! I had to be at work today at 8am. The movie was like 2 and 1/2 hours loooooooooooong. Dont get me wrong. I enjoyed it. I am just paying for it. I did not go alone. My loving woman went with me. I should mention that she gets grumpy when she is tired. So if you do the math....that is like 4 hours of sleep. WoW. In college, I could have 4 hours of sleep and be moving like a bat out of hell. Now I am more like an old man in a walker.

So, have you have seen the look on someone's face when they think they about to get there ass whipped? Well, I had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing it twice the other day. Both within minutes of each other. Jo and I are going to the mall the other day (Her nail was chipped...which means all 10 fingers have to be re-done). We normally park in the underground garage. So she drives down the ramp and the car in front of us is moving kind of slow as if the drivers is unsure where he is going. Then he backs up! So, Jo does not move at first becuase he stopped and then went foward. Then he backs up again! So she is using all the four letters words you and I can imagine (some multi-letter words in spanish too) and she puts the car in reverse. Of course she does not see the other car on the ramp ( because we are in an L shape corridor) and bang. I thought I heard a crunch.

So Josie gets out of the car! I am staring at the asshole who backed up who has parked by this time ( This dick was going for a parking spot). He is looking our direction like "oops did i do that?" So she is yelling at this lady. "Did you not see me back up?" So the lady mumbles somthing (she thought she was about to get whooped!). Jo gets back in the car and we look space. I shoot this guy (who is actually some teenager) a look like I was in OZ. She parks and we look at the car and it is only a scratch and the teenager comes up to us. "I am so sorry" (please don't kick my ass). When we see it is a scratch we are no longer mad becuase we thought it was going to be a dent. "I am sorry" (please....dont make me your bitch). So told him not to worry about it. She was more angry about the woman not seeing her. Even called her a "stupid bitch" to her face (you just have to love her). This kid looked like he was going to cry. That must have been some look I gave him. I must have gave him that Puerto Rican stare. That hot blooded look "Chingate Cabron!!!!!!"

Monday, May 6, 2002

AOL Again???

{Originally Posted on Blogger}

They saw my page...They Must have. Why else would AOL bill me for $90? Some how they figured I used their shitty product in January. Picture that. They must have seen my cracking AOL 7.0 cds in various stores across New York State.

So I call them and this fool is telling me that I used AOL in December of '01 and January of this year. that will end up costing me $90???? How is that possible? So then the moron tells me and I quote "Oh, well the charges are really $45" So I guess that the original bill was just a scare tactic. Apparently they were just going bill my card and they couldn't.

For those who don't know I changed my card last year because I lost it in NYC. So that makes me feel so much better. They were just going to take that shit for my card. Now I don't use that crap....most of you know that because I celebrated the fact that I don't use "Assholes On Line" any more. They are investigating my alleged use and they will get back to me.


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