Boston Bound

It is not often that I get excited for business trips but for this venture out of Syracuse, I am totally pumped for. I am going to the ACUI National Conference in Boston. For those who do not know, this is a conference for student union professionals to get together to share ideas and best practices. What makes this exciting is that I get to network with people who do like minded work.

This goes with my motto this year of Investing in Myself. It has been a long time since I haven't been to a conference since 2008 when I took 3 Latino students to the second annual AAHHE Conference in Miami. I did some networking there but not a lot because my life was different then. Regardless, I'm still happy to be able to be in a different environment learning new things.

Networking is very important because it all comes down to who you know in the job market. When you can put a face to a business card or a resume then chances are that person will get at least a longer glance at your job application.

It reminds me of something that happened to me 2 years ago when I was looking to hire a Graduate Assistant. The hiring process is pretty complicated for these graduate students that need to apply to get into the Higher Education program and then try to get an assistantship through a series of interviews. Before the big day there was a reception that allows departments to mingle with potential GAs. I went to the reception to see what the pool looked like because this was the first time I was in charge of this hiring process for my office. As soon as I walked in and got settled, she found me. With a plate a food in my hand, this woman comes up to me and introduced herself with a good handshake and tells me that she is looking forward to our interview. We had a great conversation that left a great impression and I remembered her the next day which lead to me eventually hiring her.

My point is, we never know who we can effect with our presence. The plan is to go to Boston for the educational sessions and mingle those people who can help me be a better professional. The other plan is to get a good feel for other schools as the potential for me to leave SU is always there. I need to make my own contacts and connections. I was commenting to my girlfriend that I have been here for 10+ years and barely know anyone outside of this place, so that needs to change right away.

I am also totally aware that I will be in Boston during St. Patrick's Day, a fact that has not truly hit me yet either. I have never been the one to celebrate it so that means I am up for some good times. That is also why I went ahead and bought the shirt pictured above. Furthermore, I have some family in Boston that I would love to see. This will be my chance to connect and see the city.

If you follow me in my other mediums then expect to see a lot of pictures from my Instagram app. If you know of any places I should go see...please let me know!

Don't Confuse Your Life Task With Your Day Job

"We must learn to lift as we climb." - Angela Davis

It's not very often that I am caught off guard about something. I tend to regulate my emotions to the best of my ability and yet, despite that you can still see my heart on my sleeve. When I took the offer to write for the Huffington Post, I will admit, that I wasn't entirely sure what I was getting into.  I knew that my potential audience would be bigger and my name would get out there more, but I didn't know what to expect in terms of feedback.

It was my girlfriend who told me that I needed to be very mindful about potential comments that I may receive, after all, I do not get very many on this blog and I have become quite used to that. But, she was referring to people who would not agree with my view on life. What she was trying to do was prepare me for potential negativity with the things I write. 

There was a lot of thought put into what I was going to write about in the Huff Post. I wanted to make sure that I was going to be ok with the angle I decided to take, which of course is all based on my time working at Syracuse University. I really wanted to get into my observations and my feelings with working at SU as well as getting to know the students. I wanted to be able to reflect on my experiences as a former student and current staff while giving the reader a glimpse of what I see and do.

I have taken pride and often times I have been humbled by the show of support by fellow alumni and staff when I debuted a couple of weeks ago. There was nothing better to me than to be recognized for my ability to write. I also wanted to use my gift to highlight those who work in the trenches with me. So this is not only meant as a tool to talk about students but the wonderful staff as well. That is what I based the second blog post on. I started looking at things differently after that blog was published.

I have made it a point not to be overly critical of my own work. I go into this whole writing thing knowing that I can always improve because typos are the bane of my existence. I can take people arguing with me when I post something controversial. I know that not everyone wants to hear what I have to say when it comes to Racism and I am ok with that. But, in this particular case, I am writing about my students, the ones that I have a love/hate relationship with because in many ways (and i hate to admit it) they are the closest thing I will have to younger siblings. 

So imagine my surprise when the comments are negative. By no means am I that sensitive, but I was completely caught off guard by the type of responses. I find it funny that I can talk about something that I feel we need, which is more Latinos in Higher Education, and to insinuate that everything that I am saying is borderline racist is laughable. Of course, I made the choice of engaging one person when I just should have let it go as many of my other friends told me. But, what got me was the fact that there were people liking these responses. It made me question a few things.

Cornel West came to Syracuse University this week too. He spoke about the new youth movement and how America's youth are poised for action. He said that at any moment we will be witness to a time period where people will begin to mobilize for justice, much like the Occupy Movement. He talked about leadership and being able to tell the truth and take the truth, but the one thing that I found to be most profound (and there were many) was when he gave advice to students who are looking to make in the word, "Have the courage to be yourself. Don't confuse your life task with your day job." That in itself made me realize that I am doing exactly what I want to do no matter what anyone thinks.

However, it was all brought together by my students. I had 3 students this week ask me for personal advice; things that they cannot ask anyone else. I had one student break my heart when he told me that he felt defeated. He knows what he wants to do but has no idea how to get there. He is convinced that his poor grades will make him a laughing stock. This kid told me that no one knows his story and the hell he has been through in life and all he wants to do is just help other students. What do I tell him? Do I tell him that he is a fuck up? Do I say "pull up your bootstraps, hard work will get you what you want!"

Yes, he needs to put in the work…but how do I help him find his motivation? By doing my job, that just happens to be my life task.

Rape is NOT the Word to Play

I have issues with how people generally use the word rape, but more specifically men. Rape is not a word that should be used to describe anything else but what it was intended to mean. It has become apparent to me that rampant use of the word can only suggest that most men do not really know or understand the definition of rape. The only good thing about this is that I will provide a complete definition of the word and why it should not be used with irreverence.

Looking up the word rape on dictionary.com I saw this: the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse. Let's be clear here, there is nothing about this word that can be used in a positive way. Rape is a violent act in which one exerts the ultimate power over another person. The victims are left broken mentally and physically. In many cases it takes years to recover...if they recover.

There are women that I know that have been raped. I am willing to guess there are more women that I know who have not told me they were raped, which brings me to my point. Saying the word as a way to describe a meaningless act takes away from this horrid experience. I follow so many people who are into sports. The analogies that are used to describe things are unacceptable. For example, when someone does something extra ordinary in a sport I have seen people tweet that "he raped them" or if a team loses by a lot, "they were raped!"

My first question is...really? You mean to tell me out of the words that people can come up with, that this word is one they choose to use? It does make me wonder about the limited vocabulary that men have in general. I treat rape as if its the worst of the four letter words because it is that serious and yet in this patriarchal society we make it seem as if its no big deal. I don't think that our ancestors who have been raped throughout history would feel this word, that describes the ultimate defiling of someone, should be used in such ways.

I am sure that the men who have been raped in jail look at this act in a brand new way. This is not about sex and sexual urges. It is about power and exerting that power over someone. That is why in the olden days taking a woman was a part of the "spoils" of war. That is why the Spanish felt that the taking of the women from either the indigenous or the slave population in colonial time was viewed as spreading the divine seed to make the heathens better.

One has to understand the rape culture by looking at some key statistics. 1/6 women will be a victim of sexual assault. 60% of sexual assault goes unreported. Every 2 minutes someone is sexually assaulted in the US. 15 out of 16 rapists will never get jail time. Tell me what the joke is? I blame men for not really seeing what women go through. Men of color, in particular, need to understand that we already objectify our women by approving the images of the "video hoe" and subscribing to the ideas a woman are no more than a "thirsty bitch". Very rarely is there consideration to the fact that our mothers and sisters are included in the statistical numbers above.

Even the imagery of rape makes the act a joke. In looking for a photo to attach for this blog post, I saw so many joking images about "rape face" that is it appalling and yet, this is the society we live in where we are oversexed and undereducated.

I have said this once and I say it over and over again, more men need to stand up against domestic violence and rape. While domestic violence is a separate issue and a separate blog all together, both of these issues speak to the type of men that we see in this society.

So before you open up your mouth or type your next tweet I encourage to understand the meaning of any word before you make yourself look as ignorant as you probably are.