Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My Free Agency

NBA Free Agency is upon us and everything named Lebron seems to be dominated all kinds of news. But, there is one free agent in waiting that I am concerned with and that is me. Sure I am not in the NBA and I will not be signed to a million dollar contract but hey...This is me we are talking about.

I have been very leery of women because, let's be honest, most of the one's I have encountered are either crazy or close to it. I use the word crazy is the best possible way. It seems that I have an affinity toward them. Whatever the case, I think that I have not taken anything seriously because of my current status and I do not expect to be taken seriously either.

I fully anticipate my single status to be official by summer's end. I joked to some people that I will be taking resumes with pictures when that comes. But in reality, I think I am going to tread lightly in the dating game. I am not even sure how much I really want to date right now based on the fact that I simply do not have my stuff together. I guess I could date with no strings just for the idea of having fun, but one thing I am not doing is dating in Syracuse.

It is all about perspective and mind set. Just how I started packing up some of my stuff this weekend because I need to get into that state of mind that my stay in Syracuse is now temporary. I need to let the fates know that I am pretty serious about getting up out of here. While the job market is not the greatest, I still need to make those moves. I just thank God that I found at least one roommate that will move in next month.

I am really not sure what is supposed to happen once all the paperwork is done. I would only assume that life will be just as normal as it ever was except that I will no longer have that excuse of not doing anything because I am still married. A friend pointed out to me that I will be able to do anything I want and not have to worry about anyone else. That might be the scary part. For such a long time I have thought about other people and not myself.

I truly believe that loneliness is related to freedom. They are not the same thing of course but I think there is a delicate balance. The fact that I am free to do what I want without having to consult anyone does bring me back to my college days but that freedom has a price. However, being that I am determined to get what I want out of life, being alone is not all that bad.

So being a free agent is exactly that...free. Marriage is not a institution of captivity, but if people make the wrong choices then it can be. I am just glad to be able to put things behind me so I can be better in the present and future.

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