I have talked about omens and how we need to learn to see them and act upon them and yet this is hard to do for some of because the possibility of failure. However, I think what makes it really hard for people to follow their gut feeling because of success. It is hard to imagine that one can be afraid of success but it does happen. Fear has a funny way of making us change directions.
I think about the emails that people send me about writing opportunities for money and I think to myself, "can I really do this?" Do I have what it takes? This blog started out so humbly for me and yet I take great satisfaction on writing right. I do not nearly have as many followers as other blogs do, so I am not sure how anyone can really measure how good my blog is. After all, I really have not published anything. Sure, I have written over 50 poems and over 300 blog post in my time, but how do I really know that I am ready for the big time?
The answer is that I do not know, but that does not mean that I cannot take that chance anyway. I have applied to places that are looking for writers to either enhance a website or contribute to a larger blog. I have wondered what it would be like to write to a larger audience. Most times, I do not hear anything back and it is ok to me. When applying to positions for writing, I have to feel it. So this last opportunity I was asked to write in 2 paragraphs as to why my voice is important. Here is what I wrote:
One thing that I really had issues with as a kid was silence. I needed to make sure that there was some sort of noise around me. Even at night when it was perfectly silent I would be afraid, not just by the darkness, but by the silence. I was often soothed by my dad's voice when he got home. Even if he didn't say anything his presence was what made me feel safe. Sometimes, I would hear him late at night talking to the dog and just knowing he was there made me safe.
As an adult, I have come to realize that silence is a very bad thing and I have lived through rough times in my former marriage, I felt that I lost my voice somewhere. Once that part of me was lost I felt just like a scared little boy waiting for dad to come home. That is why I started my blog. I need to get my voice out there. I needed to be heard because the voice of a single Latino man in his 30's, struggling with life, women, and the lack of a child is something that is not heard very often in this day an age.I felt so good when I wrote this. If I get any type of feeling that my voice is being stifled I get so upset and angry. Even in a relationship, if you cut me off or feel that my opinion does not matter...we will have a serious problem. Needless to say...I am the newest member of The Printed Blog!
I am so very happy and honored for the opportunity. This is a publication that prints selected blogs from selected bloggers. I have never had any of my work published before and I am certainly on my way to that. This was a long term goal that I set for myself and I had no idea that this could possibly be met this soon. So please visit that site. I encourage you all to subscribe to this not just for me but for the vast amount of talent that will be featured on this publication. The website explains everything.
I wanted to take time to thank my dear and darling friend Michelle for forwarding the ad to me on Craigslist. She is one the few people that believe in my talents so much that they forward me writing positions. So to all of you who look out for me...thank you so much.
I am so very humbled. I can see the changes have been fighting for coming to me. I will not change how I write. I will remain the same writer that brought me to where I am right now. In the next few days I will make a few changes to this layout that will cater to The Printed Blog. I have seen it and it a great publication. I guess it is true what is said... "Good things come to those who wait"