Saturday, February 19, 2011
The Waiting Game
“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope” - Alexandre Dumas Père
This is where I am right now. Waiting for my fate to be revealed by letter from a school that I am so desperately wanting to go to. I have had a certain quiet confidence about me but, I have not been cocky in my assessment that I would be a good for Sarah Lawrence College. Since I entered my application in January I have been slowing making plans with my life. I know exactly what I am going to do.
However, this is the waiting game. Although I may be one of the most patient people you may ever meet, anticipation of what will happen slow eats away. Sure, the nervousness is starting to set in. I have been trying my best to move on with my life for the past year and a half and it has not been happening (not from lack of trying) at the rate I would like it to. Now I have a real chance to get out of here and I feel the nerves getting tight.
I do not have a plan B at this point. I really didn't have a plan B when I applied to Syracuse either, but I was forced by my dad to apply to schools that I really did not want to go to. I have always been the type that when I want something, whatever is the next best thing does not match up. I can remember as a kid collecting the Transformers and I tried to be as authentic as possible. When other people would buy me similar toys that were transformers but were the bootleg kind, it felt cheap.
What I do not want is to get to the point in which I just leave this place with no job or no school. So failure is not in my thought process at this moment. So I wait. I think about how much I wait on a daily basis. I realize that I have so much patience with people in general. I do not panic in most situations because there is no point. I know that I will find a way. The problem is when other people have my fate in their hands. I am not very good at selling myself and I have the hardest time doing self assessments at work. That is why I had such a hard time to do my bio.
This is where my patience will pay off. I have those people who already assume I have gotten in. I love them but I am not so sure. I do not want to assume a thing. Then there are those who ask me all the time if I have heard anything or when will I hear something.
So let me just say that I did receive a letter from Sarah Lawrence College yesterday stating that they will mail out decisions for my program on March 17. So there. I have a date that is ingrained in my head so much that I am sure I will have a count down at some point in my thought process. What makes this funnier is that I will be in NYC at that time, which means that I will not know about a thing until I come back that Sunday on the 20th. Once again, patience will play a key because I will not call any of my roommates to read me the letter. I need to see those words myself.
Patience is the world I live in.
“Patience and fortitude conquer all things” - Ralph Waldo Emerson