Monday, July 6, 2009
Head vs Heart
I have been thinking about this topic all weekend. When making decisions we are always considering following our hearts. Then there is the thought about following our heads. I always find it amazing that there can be such a difference from following our hearts rather than following our heads. Some people may do this easier than most. They can balance the two factions within us. I am not sure that I have done a great job of this.
I am a person who just thinks way too much. Yet, I seem to follow my heart way too much when it comes to love and life. My head takes a back seat sometimes because many times I follow what feels right to me. The more I think about it, I seem to do that a lot. Especially, with my students. As hard as I can be with them, I seem to give them chances at redemption with either employment or grades. I like to think that I generally care and maybe I do, too much.
When I do not act with my heart, I will analyze my choices and decisions so much. I try to justify something I have done and thus overload my brain with thoughts. I have made many decisions based on the what I thought was right rather that what I felt was right. Of course when that happens I become OCD. I starting thinking about "what if" scenarios, which is never good.
To be honest, I would rather make a decision based on heart rather than head. I have always been that way. I tend to not have a headache when I make a wrong decision that was based on something I thought about, but when I make a wrong decision based on heart...then well I get into a whole world of heartache. However, despite the chance of heartache...the rewards for successfully following your heart tend to be greater.
Not to say that I don't get a heartaches from making a mental mistake. It just easier to get over. When I talk about heartaches, I am talking about the feeling that we may all get, that is right in middle of our chest that no drug can take care of. To me, that is one of the worse pains I can go through. My estimation is a broken heart is worse than a migraine. At least with a migraine I can sleep it off, not so much with heartache. The pain from a broken heart seems to last for a very long time.
I bring all this up because it seems like death is all around us these days. We tend to forget the little things in life that bring us joy. We tend to take for granted the people in our lives because we simply believe they will always be there. Nothing hits more than reading Lisa Marie Presley's blog about Michael Jackson. It is never too late to tell someone you care about them. While I personally believe life can be long...not everyone gets to live a long life. Steve McNair is a great example of that. He was a year older than me!
Lord knows that I have been trying to live my life for me over the last few months. There have been times that have been difficult and challenging. Opportunities will continue to appear at my feet, but sometimes I wonder if following my heart at this stage of my life is still the smart thing. I think that I have gone down paths that I have still not fully recovered from, so why follow my heart now? Right now my head is steering the ship in my life. My heart is taking the backseat, I just wonder if that changes the person I am.