Monday, October 26, 2009
I think I had an Awakening last week. Something like an epiphany. I suddenly realized that anything in life is possible. I know this may sound like a surprise coming from me because at times I can be negative, but when it comes down to it, anything can happen.
I have been trying to do something I talked about last week, which is living in the moment. While that is hard to do during the bad moments it is great during the good ones. I had something happen to me that was pretty extraordinary. I was writing my blog when an old friend hit me up. At first I was not sure who she was but when we spoke and I finally recognized her. I was in shock. Here is a person I have not spoken to in over 20 years, basically since my early years in grammar school, and we at talking about old times.
What amazed me was that I never thought I would hear from her again. She was the only girl in school who treated me like the nice kid I was. Then she had to leave do to an accident. Never saw her again. Sounds like one of those stories you here from the movies. But in this case it was true, until last week. Come to find out that she is the same good person I remember.
Why am I making a big deal of this? Well, because at that moment I realized that anything can happen. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. People come and go in our lives and they all serve a purpose. Of course, we need to figure out the purpose. I was validated in speaking to her. See, I always thought I was like this annoying little kid that no one cared for. She proved that was not the case. I am grateful for that.
Apply this lesson for the rest of my life and I may have something to look forward to. Look, I have made plenty of mistakes in the 35 years on this planet, but aren't we all allowed to fail? Despite all this, I am still a good person. I do not have evil thoughts and I do think that one day good karma may swing my way.
This is the point of living in the moment because anything is possible. Maybe one day I will be so successful that I wont know what to do. Perhaps I will find someone that can make me happy. The point is that we just don't know. I know that I use to have a fear of the unknown and that is because of the pessimist in me. Not so much now because I have been able to let go of many things. But now, I just feel something has awakened in me.
Is it confidence? I am not sure. Maybe it something that makes me realize that I am not fuck up that I once thought I was. One thing is for certain, once I move out of Syracuse, my life will change. I have no doubt that my angst to start over will pay off and all those who thought they knew me will be very surprised for what I have in store for them...