Wednesday, June 8, 2011
I have had the last few days off. Actually, I fancied myself a five-day weekend since I have way too many vacation days that I need to take before July 1. I spent much of this time just thinking about my birthday coming up on Sunday. I haven't really thought about my age much until recently. I am of the belief that age is just a number and you are only as young as you feel. Considering that I feel like I have never really grown up in many ways, I am feeling pretty young.
However, I was out the other night having a good time and it came to that part of the night where I have to eat food as a way to soak up the alcohol and I had a conversation with the pizza guy. I have no idea how this started but I do remember him saying that I look older than 37. I had to look at him and I wanted to tell him that he needed to take his ass way the fuck over there. I know that I do not look my age. I must admit that I didn't shave and I haven't had my normal hair cut, but these things together would ever make me look my age. But what it did do was make me start thinking about it.
The thing about 37 is that it is one of those in between numbers. Sure, It was cool to be 35 because that is a cool number. It just about solidifies the fact that I am an adult but yet young enough to still hang around the late 20's crowd. When you are 36, you are one year removed from 35 and still in good shape. Now 37 means that I am in the middle, I am certainly not as close to 35 but yet 3 years removed from 40. I will say that 40 looms overhead for all of us. Let’s be real, 40 means rectal exams. That is like the first thing my doctor tells me is when I hit that age, we are talking prostate exams and I am not sure I am ready to get a tube up my ass (but I have 3 years to prepare).
At the same time, I feel that 37 means that I have to be more careful with the age range of women that I may want to date. Chasing 24 year olds may not be the best thing. It has nothing to do with keeping up, but it has everything to do with where their level is. I feel like I have been learning the hard way that there are people who are not on my level. I am not saying this to be mean or stuck up. I have had many people tell me that certain women that I may have been involved with my not be on my level. Clearly, I have many things on my mind and everyday problems that not many young women will comprehend because they are not there.
Then there are the women who are older. I am not sure I should be chasing 50 year old women either...at least no yet. I think that I can talk about certain people not being on my level, but I have to say that older women know the deal. I am not sure I am their level as well. So my age range should be no more than 10 years younger or older. I think anything beyond that may cause serious issues with general interests and maturity at both ends.
I also think about my goals and my on going struggle to complete them. I am not getting any younger and while I do feel that I am doing my part to carve out my place in this world, I feel like maybe I am not doing enough. I think I have been successful with students and my job because of my youth and energy. Of course, my energy remains, but now what? Perhaps I am over thinking, but I do think I may be on to something here. I think that this year marks a turning point in my life where I really have to consider age as a fact for just about everything. However, the best part is that I do not feel 37.
Regardless, I will just enjoy the days that come and take each day as they come. This will be an interesting year.