Monday, July 25, 2011

28 days later...

Something funny happened during my 28 day vacation from this blog. I think I found something that I haven't had in a long time. As a matter of fact, I do no think it is something that I have ever mentioned on this blog in the 2 years that I have been writing. While, I am not entirely sure that I have been searching for this and I hardly think I have even mentioned that is was what I was looking for... I think I found a way to be happy.

Before the realization of this sets it, there has always been a certain understanding that I have had with the universe and that was that my life would continually be difficult. I have felt on numerous occasions that my luck has run out, that I reached the threshold of things to pray for. But then, things just seemed to click. It was as if I woke up one day and the world around me was moving just a little bit slower and I was still going at the same speed.

This is not to say that I am not plagued with the same everyday issues that I had just 28 days ago, I am just more in tuned with myself. I see things differently when it come to the goals I have placed for myself. There is no more "ifs" in my world there is only "when". For far too long I have been living in a world where I talk about if things will happen. They either will or will not. I will either make things happen or I don't. It is really that simple.

I have also taken the time to smell the roses. Stressing about things is not going to make my life better. Thankfully, I have never been one to panic in any given situation, but I have been known to over analyze. During this 28 day stretch, I have not over analyzed a thing. I have let things come to me. I have also trimmed the things and the people who have been a distraction to my goals. Unfortunately, I have also been very quiet with family and friends which has led to false impressions on my intentions and for that I sincerely apologize. I believe everyone needs a break from their lives and from themselves.

I have kept to myself for the same reason that I stopped writing on this blog, I wanted to stop talking about things...and actually do the things I said I would do. I do love the people in my life who have been there for me. I am not snubbing them or disregarding them in any fashion. I just needed to time to get my head straight. I need time to see the me for the individual that I am. How can I expect anyone to love me if I am not willing to see myself for who I am? How can I expect a bunch of strangers hire me if I cannot show them how dynamic I can be? How can I expect to gain and retain the respect of people I work with if I cannot consistently be creative and innovative?

28 days later... I realize that living in the moment is more important than living for the moment.

My silence is now broken.


Desi said...

beautiful. thank you for sharing your reflections of your journey here with us.

Latinegro said...

Thank you for your comment Desi, I feel like I haven't see you around in a awhile. I hope all is well.


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