Monday, January 3, 2011
Over the last couple of days, I had to really look back and ask myself what do I really want for this new year. Before the years was up, I really did not think about 2011 and what I may have in store of it. Alas, I did not want to get to a point where I felt I was just coasting through life. I need to make sure that I do everything I can to ensure my happiness even in times when I feel the most lazy.
I could have done many things better last year. I know that my biggest enemy is myself. It is like that for so many students that I see who come through my door. We tend to be our worst enemies because success is not an easy thing to attain. It is damn hard and many times it is easier to make excuses rather than battle through whatever obstacle is in our path. I feel that I have been lazy last year. I was so busy waiting for things to happen that I lost sight of many goals. I cannot do that anymore. Even as I type this, I know how hard it is to stay motivated.
So for the sake of my sanity, yesterday, I created a list of resolutions that I need to work on for 2011. These are not superficial things. These are things that I need to do in order to get back to the essence of me. I have always been able to look at the potential of others, now I have to look at my potential. I have struggled to recognize my worth for the longest time and now that I have gotten a sense of that, I need to figure the perimeters of my potential.
I want to start by clearing my credit card debit. Now, my debt as whole is larger that just credit cards, and a lot of that is due to owning a home, but I want to concentrate on this seemingly small portion because I need to put my money to better use. I think that by doing this I can afford more and worry less. Now that I have three roommates, I think that I can fulfill this goal fairly easily. Do not get me wrong, I am not paying them all off and then discarding them, I want to pay them off and continue use them responsibly. Now that I am fully living the single life, I need to live a little more and have my money work for me.
Although I have been in relatively good health, I feel the need to get back to the work out regime that I had in 2009. I need to start running 3-4 times a week like I used to. I would use just about anything as an excuse to not run. I need to stop that. For months now I have been concerned that perhaps I started putting the weight back on that I lost 2 years ago. I have attributed my lack of soda drinking to my weight loss so the least thing that I have done is to continue to stop drinking it. However, I still feel that I may gained some back.
The funny thing is my pants still feel and look the same. So I do not feel a tightness, however, I feel like perhaps my shirts can be too small. Granted I am probably thinking too deeply into this because I am still relatively slim but, as I get older, things like diabetes and blood pressure may become an issue. In any case, I had to face whatever this feeling was that perhaps I am gaining weight back. When I was in Harvard last week, I weighed myself. I am 167 lbs and I was shocked. I am still relatively the same weight. Maybe my shirts are shrinking...
...the next day when I was having dinner with 2 of my paternal aunts, one mentioned that I am not as slim as I was last year. I heard that and I said to myself. I need to run.
I then thought about how quickly the 2 year anniversary of this blog is coming. I feel that I have at times neglected this site as well as my writing due to my laziness. I need to always make sure that I am on my game. Which is why I have decided to shoot for a goal of at least 175 blogs for 2011. That is about 15 entries a month until the end of the year (I rounded up). I need to push myself further so I make this be happy about what I can do with my writing. I know that I have used my tumblr account strictly for my poetry...but that may not be the case anymore. I think that site has become a whole another animal entirely.
With the thought of increasing the number of entires per month it is only natural that I think about broadening my audience. I would like to get more followers. I am not sure how I am going to do this. I feel that this blog is a product of me. I think that I share my stories and my journeys because I want to leave my mark on the world. However, I still know that I write for me and not for others and yet I want more people to follow me. I think that is just the nature of being a writer. I want people to read what I write with the understanding that I am not here for anyone in particular.
However, I am enjoying so very much the interactions I get on Facebook and I would love to continue that. I feel that I can get ideas from the people who read me. Often times when I am thinking about what to write it can almost be like a conversation and in many ways the Latinegro page has allowed me to have that conversation. So, I want more followers because I feel that I want more people to join into whatever conversation that I am having on here.
The final goal has been an on-going goal since 2009. I need to move back to NYC. I think in many ways I have been lazy about that to. Not that I have lost the desire, but more that I think I lost a little bit of hope last year. When I ended my last entry for 2010 I said that I wanted to hope more and dream less because I think I thrive on hope. While dreams are something we all have, I think people can spend too much of their time dreaming and less time living. I plan on getting back on my grind and getting back to NYC as soon as possible.