Now What?

I consider this separation/divorce process to be very much a learning experience to me. So, it has been a very new thing for me to just put my business out there for all to read. I did tell family first. I also asked Josie if it was ok to write my last blog. Even though her and I are going through this, I still have a sense of responsibility. So I wouldn't just put her on blast either. We had some really good times and I want to honor that.

A part of me wanted to make a FAQ list that I have encountered since I had decided to tell people individually and then publicly. There was no question that was invalid or out of the ordinary. Most are like simply: What are you going to do now? Truth be told I am talking things day by day. Some days are harder than others. Quite frankly, I have forced myself to think about all the things have went wrong. I want to say that I very much feel responsible for this.

So now what? Well, I want to focus on my career. I think that I had a very good year and I would like to keep that going. I want to get into my master's program and I am waiting for 2 letters of recommendation (I need 3). I am a little annoyed, but I will give those two people a couple of more weeks before I search for two other people who might be willing to right me a personal reference. I am going to focus on myself.

People have asked me if I have a girlfriend. I do not have one and I do not plan to. I need to re-evaluate everything in my life. This is a life altering event and once I am able to come to terms with everything, then my next step is to fall in love...with myself. This is important to me because I am not sure if I even like myself right now. Now, I don't want my guilt and sorrow to be mistaken for self pity. I thank everyone so much for the well wishes. Keeping my head up to me, is very much about recognizing mistakes and facing them. Once that process is done then I can move forward.

There has been no greater wisdom (for me right now) than to speak to someone who has been going through similar things. I had a cup of coffee (my first cup in a week) with a very good friend of mine that I have not seen quite a while. She offered some of the best advice to me. In addition to telling me that all things happen for a reason, she told me that I should now reflect on what I need to do for myself to make my life better. I trust her knowledge because she has been in my shoes.

I will say that I have had a good week. For the most part, I have been with family. I was able to have some of my father's cooking which is plus for me. I went to the movies with my brother, sister and law and my nephew. Played handball with my cousin Rick. I was able to hang out with a good friend of mine as well. My vacation has been full. So I cannot complain.

There is No Manual For This

This is the blog entry I have been dreading to write. I have been thinking about what to say and I have planned out theses words for weeks. There is a very big reason why this blog has slipped over the this month and this is because my emotions and general feelings have been all over the place. This blog as been my constant since January. I have done a lot of writing to distract me from the problems that have been so glaringly obvious to me.

I am sitting here in Mount Vernon, at my aunts house, and I cannot believe how hard it is for me to write this. After almost 8 years of marriage, my wife and I splitting up. We made this mutual decision in March. This has been a hard road for us. I knew that this was something that was going to happen in December. Our marriage has been rocky for about 3 years.

There is no manual for a successful marriage. It is hard to gage all the things one needs to do in order to keep a lifetime commitment going. I will say that I blame myself for so many things. No one gets married just to get divorced. I would like to think I have done my best to make her as happy as I can, but ultimately I did not.

We will remain friends. Her and I, on many levels, get along great. Right now, we still reside in the same house, although not in the same room. Her and I will figure out all the little things we need to get us through this tough time.

This will come as a major surprise to many people who thought that her and I were the perfect couple. I think that we did a great job in getting along in public. I will say that I don't want people to think that I do not still love her because that is not the case. The issue of love is not the case here. I do love her. But, I think that we have both done so many things to each other that at some point we were done.

This will change how I write my blogs for the time being. I maybe a little darker than normal. What I will not do, is say anything bad about her. There is no reason for it. But, I think that writing has been so helpful to me when I need to get my feelings out. I think that my blog has slipped because this is what I wanted to write about and this has blocked out every other thought that I have had.

Laptop Issues

It is not my intention to skip blogs for this long, but I am having issues with my laptop that has made it diffcult for me to connect to the internet. So I am writing something quick tolet my readers know that I am still alive. I did manage to write a guest blog on Brookey's Cafe Blog. So please check that out. That was posted yesterday.

Once I get up and running again, I will write several blogs about my weekend. I was going to write a review on Terminator: Salvation. I will try to get that done. For now, I want to just get some rest. I hope you are all doing well...

Dad's Big Day Tomorrow

Well I am back in the Bronx. My drive takes me about 4 hours depending on the traffic. I picked a perfect day to drive. Clear skies all the way. I think that was a sign of a good week to come.

Of course tomorrow is the Big Day for my Dad. I had to call him last night to get all the times correctly. I laughed because I spoke to him twice. Once in the morning, where he tells me his version of the time line, and again at night with on a 3 way call with my future step mother. In the 3 way call the timeline is totally different. Which is not a surprise to me because I know who is in charge now.

Needless to say, I need to get my ass up early tomorrow. As if i am going to work. I have to be at my aunts house at 8am (she lives in Mount Vernon) and from there we will travel to downtown Manhattan to what was originally City Hall. Now we are going somewhere a few blocks away. My step mother has a friend who is a judge, so instead of the long line and wait over in City Hall, we will do it at this person's apt.After that we are doing lunch. It should be pretty fun. The weather looks like it will be beautiful.

I mentioned on Twitter and on Facbook that my brother decided to cut my stay at his place short. Here is how it went...He calls me to make sure that I am still coming (he did this yesterday). In this conversation he tells me he wants to discuss the length of may stay. He feels it should be shorter. Apparently, Justin has finals and will be distracted by my presence. My nephew is 10...what school gives finals to 10 year old??? So clearly I am out of a place after Tuesday.

My dad is staying with my aunt in Mount Vernon (10 minutes away). So I made arrangements with her. Funny, I could have stayed with her before but I figured that she didn't have Internet and I am spoiled...lol. Come to find out that she indeed does have a computer with a modem. I made a joke to my father about how it is not wireless...and he tells me that we need to fix that because my step mom cant use her laptop. So this week, we get to upgrade my aunt with a wireless router. I am so bad...

My nephew mentioned to me that he has a baseball game at 5. So, I guess I am booked for that. I am also amazed at all the clothes I was able to pack. You would think that I am not coming back...lol

Trust me...I am. I do have a job.

Tidbit Tuesday

Chelsea Market

I am adding this to the list of destinations I plan on visiting on my trip to my hometown of New York City. I have been to the Chelsea market before on my last trip to NYC. I didn't get to see all of the places in there because I was hanging out with the fellas, but I want to go and check it out. The funny thing is that when someone asked me what the Chelsea Market it was...I couldn't really explain it. I found myself not doing it justice.

So that is why I have attached the Chelsea Market link. That will give everyone a good indication of what this is. I doubt I will buy anything, but I am going there because I know it is place I have never really seen prior to my trip in March. Despite, growing up in the Bronx, I am realizing that there are many things about NYC that I have not really seen. Hopefully I will see something or do something new.


Shaq!!!

The buzz on campus yesterday was that Shaquille O'Neal is on campus taking a course. I first saw a notice on Twitter, but I just took it for what it is, a rumor. However, once the article came out, then I knew it was real. Then of course you have multiple Facebook status messages going crazy. Everyone wanting to know why he is here. Clearly, the man is thinking about Broadcasting. Syracuse University has the number one school for that (Newhouse). Makes sense to me.

I am not a person who gets star struck. I admit that this got me a little excited, which tells me that despite it all, I still love my Alma Mater. I am not sure that I would ever be breathless if a true celebrity were to be in my presence. The only one I can think of is Alicia Keys....which by the way I am totally mad at. I saw a tweet that she is in a relationship with Swizz Beatz (that hurts me). Anyway, I am not someone who gets start struck, but I totally tweeted Shaq! All I want is a pic in Schine Student Center...


Exercise

Most of you may know this, but I have been totally killing myself, in a good way. My treadmill sessions have been good for me. 45 minutes of hell usually gets be about 3.5 miles worth of panting and sweat. I do not run the entire way, but I do for most of it. What I am the most proud of is that I can run for 1 mile without stopping. I also have a killer running soundtrack on my iPhone. So at times when I feel I cannot make, certain songs will give me that extra bounce..

The only thing I am in search of is a good pair of running shoes. The problem is that they will be more expensive then I need them to be. So, another thing on my list of things to do in NYC, is to price out some running shoes. My birthday is not too far away and I think I can convince some people to at least partially fund this worthy cause! (Definitely hitting up Dad first)


Self Evaluation

One thing that I never get used to is doing a Self Evaluation to close out the year. Talking positively about myself for a Performance Review is something that I have always found hard to do. I wonder if I was more egotistical, would it be easier? At least I would be high on myself and the questions of my accomplishments for the year would not be so hard.

Well that is what I spend the bulk of yesterday doing. Writing the Self Evaluation so that the powers that be can see that I am doing my job well. Let me tell you, I had a very good year professionally. I am going on my 8 years here and I really feel that I have hit my stride. That does not mean I getting complacent. Far from it. I am actually going to start classes in the fall to continue my path to a Master Degree

The only issue I face is these damn letters of recommendation that I have asked people to write. I asked 3 people to write letters for me. Only one has been submitted. That was months ago. I need to move forward. So the question in my head is...do I nag the hell out of my them or do I search for 2 more people?

Prepping for New York

I am ready to just get out of here. I was in NYC in March for the Big East Tournament and I had a very good time. Since then, it has been a bumpy ride. Stresses of work and personal life had lead me to this point.

As usual, I have so much to do in such little time. I am spending 9 days in the city. While that sounds like a lot, it really isn't. With all the friends who want to hang out and all the family I need to see, those 9 days will probably fly by. So, I have some highlights of things I would like to do. I would like to get all things done, but we will see.

• I would love to go to Citifield to catch a Met game. They are playing 6 times within the time I am there. I would like to go to one game. I am not sure how much it will cost me yet and I am afraid to look right now.
  
  
• I wanted so see a movie in IMAX, but I just found out that Star Trek will not be playing when I get down there. I guess I could try Terminator: Salvation.
  
  
• I have not been to the South Street Seaport since 9/11. I would like to see how it looks. I have always liked the view from there.
  
  
• I was invited to lunch at Chinatown! Here is another place I have not been too since that long walk on 9/11. I have never eaten there either. So I think I will have fun doing that.
  
  
• Every Year around Memorial day there is Stickball Tournament in the Bronx. This year they are recognizing my father for being one of the founders of the league. I cannot wait to see how it is they will recognize him.
  
  
• I will actually go see my mother. She kind of convinced me to see her in our last conversation, so we will see how that goes.
  

I am pretty excited about coming down. I know that list is a short one and I plan on expanding it the more I think about it.

Health Issues

Yesterday I decided not to have any coffee. I have been feeling much better since my doctor told me to cut down on the coffee and drink more water. Of course, this means I use the bathroom more, but that general uncomfortable feeling I was having is pretty much gone. I had a pretty decent time with staying awake at work, but I started getting a headache toward the evening. So once again he is right.

Curious enough though, I was reflecting back on something he asked me about my parent's health. He had asked me if there were any updates with my parents. Did something happen that he should know about. I told him no. My father is fine. He is doing quite well actually. My mother...well I don't really speak to her all that much. So I just told him what he wanted to hear, because in actuality, I really do not know.

I wont go deep into why my mother and I have issues, however, I will say that one day we may have to talk about shit...again. Anyway, my brother called me yesterday. We seem to know the exact moments to call each other. I will say to myself, damn I have to call Marc and he ends up calling me. So, with the general topic of things we discuss, I find out my mother was hospitalized like a week or 2 ago....

Pause. Yes, I know. You would have called me when it happened. Despite the fact that we have issues, I think I should have been told too.

The story is that she wasn't feeling well. So she sees her doctor, who is amazed after taking a blood sample that she is even conscience. Her blood sugar was over 800. To most people that is a diabetic coma. She has kept her self in such good shape that she was able to not fall into one, so says my bother. So they had to keep her overnight at the hospital.

Being that Josie has diabetes, I understand the 2 different types. So I ask him what type of Diabetes was she diagnosed with? "I dunno". WTF? All he knew was that she was given pills, which suggests to me that it is Type 2 Diabetes. Clearly, I do not know for sure. So it means that I will have to call her. Not that this is a bad thing. It will just be awkward.

As for me, I am trying to get my physical condition to where in needs to be. Monday I was on the treadmill for 45 minutes and my legs are still feeling sore. Yesterday I played 4 games of Racquetball. If anyone has played this, then you know that this is quite a workout. Today, I will go back to the treadmill. I was very tempted to go to Burger King yesterday, but my Twitter peeps told suggest something else. I had Sushi. I will need to diligent.

Oh..and I did have coffee this morning from Dunkin Donuts. Very watered down coffee and does not compare to Starbucks. However, I am not willing to die for it.

Tidbit Tuesday

About a week ago, I thought about some themes. I am introducing Tidbit Tuesdays. I consider these to be Mini Blogs. These are things that are too short to post in a normal blog. I have done this before. Now I am making this a weekly thing. Enjoy!


Star Trek

All I can say is wow. I am not going to review the movie because I think so many people have seen it by now. There are only certain moves that I can say "wow" too as I am watching it. This movie definitely made me do that. I am very impressed by the character development and the overall direction of Star Trek. I am quite sure there will be tons of sequels!

This may be a movie I see a second time. Perhaps in Imax! I have never seen a movie in Imax. Perhaps on my trip to NYC, I will do that...

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New York City

Speaking of NYC, I am going down there the last week of May because my father is getting married for the 3rd time. I am actually quite surprised by this. I cannot tell you the countless amount of times that he has told me that he will never get married again. I am truly happy for him and for my step mother. I have been calling calling her step mother for quite some time. Let's face, they have been together since I was in High School, so it is about time.

There was a small issues with the date in which they were going to get married. Based on a commitment from work I could not go with the original date set, which was 5/26. So I tell my father this and they were trying to work something out. I thought this was a firm date. But then that commitment fell through weeks later and I just took the rest of that week off. Come to fins out they switch dates on me to 5/22. So now I have to come down after work on 5/21.

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Joe Biden

For those who don't know, the Vice President was up here at Syracuse University giving a speech during the Commencement ceremonies. I was lucky enough to be in attendance since Josie did graduate this past weekend. It was very surreal to me to be in his presence. This is the first politician (that I voted for) I have ever seen live and in person. It was almost this larger than life feeling.

His speech was on point. He talked about his Syracuse days as a Law Student and then talked about the vision of America the he and President Obama share. Normally, when you go to a commencement so early (we were there by 7:50), you expect to fall asleep at some point, well it was not meant to be in this case. I was awake the entire time. I really enjoyed listening to Joe Biden speak....and he did not put his foot in his mouth

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Commercials

I do not watch all that much television. What I do watch is Baseball, ESPN, and shows that I tend to DVR (Lost, Heroes, Biggest Loser, The Office, etc). I tend to fast forward through commercials anyway. However, when I watch the Mets play, I have to watch the commercials. There are a few that are really amusing. Heineken seems to do a very good job at providing some good laughs about their product. I believe that if you really want to get your name around your commercials need to memorable and funny.

I don't like Heineken. Not a fan of their beer. But there commercials make me laugh:

Someone needs to pay the people who write these a lot of money! Have a good one!

Driving and Texting

Recently the city of Syracuse passed a law that states that if you are caught texting and driving you will get a $150 fine. While I think it is about time for this law, I am kinda scared because I know that I have been guilty of this. It took me awhile to really think about the importance of texting. Do I get messages that are so critical that I need to text while I am at the wheel? Probably not.

During this age of social networking and technology, we are connected to the world in ways we weren't just 10 years ago. The new phones that come out now allow us to do so much more than we could have ever imagined. With all the tweeting and status updates on Facebook, is there no wonder how we all got along without it.

However that bring us closer to the danger we face when on the roads. You think talking on the cell and driving was bad? Last week I was walking to my doctor's office and I noticed one of the students driving and he was texting. He was approaching a stop sign and was not even looking at the road. Grant he was not going that fast, but does that really matter? I was taken back by this because I asked myself is that what I look like?

I do not text and drive much, but I have done it. At this point, if I do text, I will do it at a stop light or stop sign. I have also pulled over to do that. I know this sounds crazy, but I have reduced my texting due to the fact that I do have an iPhone. I just plug it into the car radio and listen to music. This way I just enjoy music and not worry about texts. If people are texting they can wait right? Otherwise they would call.

Of course that brings up the issue about driving and talking on the phone. I don't own a blue tooth because I lost the last one. However, if I put my phone on speaker I am fine. Just don't have an argument with me and we are fine!

Well let me tell you what I really think about when the thought of texting and driving comes to mind: 7 Pounds. If you have seen the movie then you know what I am talking about. Once you see that movie you will second guess everything in your life. More importantly, it will make you think twice about the importance of texting or emailing while driving. It really is not that deep.

I am not sure that the younger generation really takes this all that seriously. I am not even sure that $150 fine is enough. The law takes effect July 1st.

A Plan for a Better Self Image

Something I have been thinking about all week, coupled with my issues with coffee, is my health and how my body looks. When I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I was so impressed with the type of body Hugh Jackman had. He was very fit and thin as hell. I am not talking about the scenes where he is running nude. I am talking about him wearing the Jacket, with jeans and boots.

Ok, I am done with the man love. My point is that this is the first time that I really questioned my own self image. I mean, this is not a point in which I feel inferior because I am not white. It is bad enough that many Latinos have issues with self images that they ignore their African roots, but that is not me. This is a case of realizing that I need to wear a pair of jeans that fit. I need to wear a jacket that doesn't just drape over me.

I am not saying I am fat. I just think that I should be thinner. Of course I talk all this shit and then I do nothing about it. So, I have plenty of thinking to do. What plan am I going to have? I wish I knew. But, I want to go to the extreme. I want to push my body to the limit. I think that now is the time to so that.

I am not saying I am trying to get 6 pack abs. I am thinking more of a toned kind a look. I am so over baggy jeans, I have been for years. I can do the skinny jeans thing though. I cannot afford a trainer so I know I have to figure something out.

It reminds me of a time when I attempted to work out like everyday. My friend, Casey was going to put me through this regime. I was going to get worked out! So I am doing all types of exercises that hurt. He decides that I should lift weights to the point where I cannot use my arms anymore! I would go home and not even be able to lift a glass of water. So, it got to the point where my arms got pretty big...well for me. My pecs were getting pretty nice too! I go home to the Bronx to visit the parents. My step mother looks at me and tells me I am fat! Like asking me how much I have been eating! Then she checks out my arms and thinks I am on drugs! Apparently my arms had gotten big to the point where there were stretch marks (that I still have) and they are of course mistaken for needle marks...

Needless to say, I do not want to be big. I just want to be slim and fit. Lets hope I can do that. All I need is the will. I think I have plenty of it. I just need a plan.

Too much Coffee???

Let me talk about the last few days. Tuesday I woke up to the same feeling I always wake up to, the need to go to the bathroom. After taking care of my normal morning routine. I head out to work. Park the car. Go to Starbucks and order a Venti Cinnamon Dulce Latte with no whip cream. After this, I am ready to face my day.

Then a feeling comes over me. I have to use the bathroom again. But the feeling is more of my bladder being full already. So, like a typical man I ignore it. Eventually I go to the men's room and (sorry if this is TMI) not as much comes out as I thought would. Of course, I am like...WTF?

Ok, fine I go back to my desk and then the feeling returns. Now, I am no fool. I starting thinking many things. My first thought is, frequent urination is a sign of prostate cancer. So, I almost freak out and look up WebMD. I come up with some ideas of what I could have. I am leading toward an infection like UTI or possibly a bladder infection. In either case, I know something is wrong.

The good thing is that I do not have any pain. However, the feeling is still uncomfortable. I go through the whole day feeling like this. I tell myself that if I continue to feel this way tomorrow then I have to call the doctor. I am not one of those guys that will ignore something that is going on in my body. Although, I do have the urge to do that. The fear, or maybe not a fear but rather a concern, is that I may get poked and prodded. More specifically poked. I am not ready for a tube up my ass.

I do feel better toward the end of the night. When I lay down, I feel nothing. So, again like a typical man, I am thinking that I am good right? Wrong.

The next day(yesterday) is the same thing. So, now I am thinking I am just done. I have some kind of tumor in my bladder and I wont live to see 40. I need to come up with a bucket list. I take a deep breath and realize I just need to call the doc...but first...Starbucks!!!

I call the doctor's office after I get to work and explain the situation. She sets an appointment right then and there for me. The time is set for 2:30 so I have the rest of the day to think about what is going on in my body. I come up with reasons why I might have this. I think back to Sunday and how I woke up with such a full bladder, because I held it all night. I know that I have this habit, particularly at work, to hold it because I am too busy to go to the men's room.

2:30 comes and I get to the office. I give them a nice sample as they requested. They take my blood pressure and it is high. Wonderful. I never have high blood pressure. I am so gonna make that bucket list when I get home! I think about what I am going to say on Twitter

He comes in and asks me what is going on. My doctor is very good. I totally trust him. He tells me I have no infection what so ever. He is concerned by the color so he interrogates me about my diet and what I consume. Has there been any changes. My eyes widen and I tell him that I have increased the amount of coffee. For those who do not know, I stopped going to Dunkin Donuts because there coffee is watered down. I needed something stronger. Thus I want to Starbucks. Not only did I get better coffee, I actually changed the amount. I used to order a medium, now I am at a large.

The Doc looks at me and says..."I will bet that your issues is linked to your consumption of too much coffee". I was stunned. We then had a discussion on how I am not drinking enough water either. He mentioned to me that I need to cut my consumption by half, meaning a small. I was ready to get rid of coffee entirely, but he told me that would be bad. He explained that I will get headaches due to lack of coffee. Here again, my eyes widen. I do tend to get headaches on days I do not drink coffee...WTF! He further explained that he has seen this before and is pretty sure that if I decrease my coffee intake and drink more water then I will be fine. However, if it does not change in 2 weeks. He will check the prostate.

So there it is. "Check the prostate". It looms over me like the death star. I drank so much water yesterday, you can call me Aquaman.

Today I ordered a small coffee and I do feel better. We will see how this goes...

The Light

It is that time of year for me that gets me nervous. It is the last weekend of the school year and all the commencement activities are coming together. All seems to be well. What makes me generally uneasy is life after the graduation festivities end. What am I am supposed to do after I get to the light at the end of the tunnel?

For the most part, my career is my life. Those months spent between August to May become very much about the students. So technically any real life I have begins after Mother's day and lasts until the middle of August.

I think the unease comes from the shift in the patterns of my life. I will be at work less so I need to figure out what exactly I am going to do day to day. I know that I need to take care of my body and that is becoming a fast priority for me. I am turning 35 in about a month and I know that I am going through changes. I can feel it.

The problem for me becomes that I can spend most of the summer exercising and playing the sports. I can lose 5-8 pounds in a relatively short period. But, when school starts up again, all that work does not translate over because I become too busy for my life. Which, is no excuse.

This summer will be different indeed. I have things that I need to care of. I am going down to New York at the end of the month and then again in June. I will be going to Florida in July on a road trip, which should be interesting to say the least.

For now I just have to power through these last few days in hopes I can survive them...

New Direction

After 101 consecutive posts, I took some time off from blogging. At first, I had no choice in the matter. My Internet was down for a large part of Saturday that lead into Sunday. While I could have blogged from my phone, but I decided not to. I took some time away from writing to refocus on what was me and where I want all this to go.

I want to focus on quality and quantity. I think that I have done my best to get post out no matter where I am. I have always made my personal deadline (sometimes barely) and I have tried to talk about a variety of topics. The only thing that has bothered me is that I feel that perhaps I am losing the quality of my writing but just post so much. However, once I started down the path of posting every day, I did not want to stop because I wanted to prove to myself that I can commit to something and stick to it. After over 100 posts consecutively, I think I have done that.

So what does this mean? Well, I will not be posting everyday anymore. Which means I will take weekends off as I see fit. I will concentrate all my efforts on Monday through Friday. I will only post on the weekends if something is burning me up, which is completely possible. I am giving myself personal freedom to do more creative things with myself.

There are many personal things that I am going through right now that I do not wish to share at this moment. However, I will do that in the near future and when I do that will change how the Blog will be. Which, is ok, actually. So, I am still very excited about my writing and I am planning so many things.

I will try different formats. I notice that fellow bloggers my have themes to certain days like "Wordless Wednesday" or "Random Thoughts Thursday". I am trying to be as dynamic with this blog myself. However, they have more followers than I do, so much of the themes can work with participation.

One things that really worked for me last week was planning out posts. I had come up with 3 subjects last weekend and spread them out over 3 days. This has made me re-think about blogging on this site. I have always been a day to day blogger. I write for the moment. In the case of last week, I had 3 things I could write about and planned them accordingly. This made it feel as if I could really be more than just a blogger.

Which brings me to my goal. I have a goal to write a book. I know that in order to do that, one needs tremendous about of discipline. What I plan in a book is far reaching and collaborative. I think that I can make a difference in the lives of underrepresented groups.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Official Review

When I was a kid collecting the Uncanny X-men, I would always think to myself that they could never make a Wolverine movie. It would be too watered down and there would not be enough violence to fit his mentality. I also thought that there was just not enough information to on Wolverine to make a decent film.

It seems that, 20 years later, I am completely wrong. X-Men Origins: Wolverine maybe the movie to beat this year at the box office and it will have stiff competition with the line up coming out this summer. It runs just a bit under 2 hours and there is never a dull moment. This movie takes us through Logan's childhood all the way through to the seeds of the first X-Men movie.

Let me talk about the disappointments first. Will i am plays John Wraith and while is performance is not bad at all, I felt was looking at Will i am and not John Wraith. Could they have found a better person to play him? Not really sure because he looks very much like John Wraith. The other disappointment is Gambit. There is just not enough of him! I like his character and I hope to see more of him in any future spin offs.

Now to the what really made this movie as good as it was. Liev Schreiber makes this movie. No question about it. His portrayal of Victor Creed will put you in awe. If you love bad guys in a movie then you love Liev. He is a total bad ass. I have no complaints about him or his feud with Logan. Of course, I have to mention that no one else could portray Wolverine like Hugh Jackman can.

There are lot of twist and turns in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I know that I never saw any of them coming. Just when I got comfortable in the direction of where this movie was going, it shifted gears. The actions scenes are great and the violence is not over the top. If you are real good at pointing out the small details then you see some small things that connect this movie to the X-Men Trilogy.

Stay to the end folks. There a small scene after all the credits roll. I give this movie 4 out 5.

P.S. I am seeing this movie again tonight (new Transformer Trailer is shown with this movie)

P.S. Shame on those who thought I was going to give away the plot...tsk tsk