Something I have been thinking about all week, coupled with my issues with coffee, is my health and how my body looks. When I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I was so impressed with the type of body Hugh Jackman had. He was very fit and thin as hell. I am not talking about the scenes where he is running nude. I am talking about him wearing the Jacket, with jeans and boots.
Ok, I am done with the man love. My point is that this is the first time that I really questioned my own self image. I mean, this is not a point in which I feel inferior because I am not white. It is bad enough that many Latinos have issues with self images that they ignore their African roots, but that is not me. This is a case of realizing that I need to wear a pair of jeans that fit. I need to wear a jacket that doesn't just drape over me.
I am not saying I am fat. I just think that I should be thinner. Of course I talk all this shit and then I do nothing about it. So, I have plenty of thinking to do. What plan am I going to have? I wish I knew. But, I want to go to the extreme. I want to push my body to the limit. I think that now is the time to so that.
I am not saying I am trying to get 6 pack abs. I am thinking more of a toned kind a look. I am so over baggy jeans, I have been for years. I can do the skinny jeans thing though. I cannot afford a trainer so I know I have to figure something out.
It reminds me of a time when I attempted to work out like everyday. My friend, Casey was going to put me through this regime. I was going to get worked out! So I am doing all types of exercises that hurt. He decides that I should lift weights to the point where I cannot use my arms anymore! I would go home and not even be able to lift a glass of water. So, it got to the point where my arms got pretty big...well for me. My pecs were getting pretty nice too! I go home to the Bronx to visit the parents. My step mother looks at me and tells me I am fat! Like asking me how much I have been eating! Then she checks out my arms and thinks I am on drugs! Apparently my arms had gotten big to the point where there were stretch marks (that I still have) and they are of course mistaken for needle marks...
Needless to say, I do not want to be big. I just want to be slim and fit. Lets hope I can do that. All I need is the will. I think I have plenty of it. I just need a plan.
2 comments:
Hey Ant, this is something I can definitely relate to. I've been going to the gym steady for 2 weeks now and it felt good. My issue is simply GETTING there, but once I'm there, you can't get me out of the gym. It's just hard to get there. I work long hours, so it's hard for me to walk PAST Grand Central to go to the gym when I can simply hop on the train and go home to lay on the couch, laptop in hand...and do nothing.
I think once you get a plan, you'll be fine. Maybe you should get a work out partner whose body you admire and ask them if you can work in with them. Or try that P90x thing Dre is always talking about. I'll even do it with you. I'll try my best to motivate and encourage you, and you can do the same for me. I find it helps when you have someone to do it with.
Either way, I have no doubt that you'll achieve your goals. Personally, I think you look great, but if you feel like you can be better, then I'm all for it!
Much success on your efforts. I keep looking at myself in the mirror and thinking to myself "You REALLY need to start working out," but that never motivates me enough to go to the gym. The gym isn't my thing, but if I could find some class or activity that I liked enough to keep doing it consistently that helps to lose weight I would do it gladly. Like you, it's all about getting my plan together. For me it's a health issue to - I just want to make sure I am taking care of my body so that I am healthy well into my senior years. :o)
Go do it! Set your plan (and your goals) and keep at it. I believe it will all fall into place for you.
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