Wednesday, May 31, 2006

FU Pods 3: The Return of the I-Pod (and more)

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

Ok, So for the last time, I go to the APPLE store and get my new I-POD. So as I am waiting, I see something so fantastic! Another black person walks into the store! I was so hype. I wont mention the white girl he came in with, but I was happy. Well, despite it all I did get another I-Pod that I now call, Vol. 3. My warranty is until January and I will be so careful with it because apparently there was a dent. I dont remember dropping, but ok. The Tech was being extremely nice to me so I wont bad mouth APPLE, at least today. My wife, however still vows so shove her old White Pod up the CEOs ass (sideways).

I am glad that is over with. One thing that bothers me (and I dont know if anyone goes through this) is when people think you are invisible. First let me just make a statement: Although not everything is about race, I cannot help but think that most things are. With that being said, we are at Friendlys the other day. It has been mad hot and we were in the mood for some ice cream. So, Josie, Nessa, and I get seated, look through the menu, and just wait. Rule of thumb, if you are not even spoken to after 5 minutes of being seated, that is way too long. So, 15 minutes later, I ask the hostess if was any intention of us getting a waitress. She looks over to this blond woman and was likeyou gonna take care of them? So she replies to her (like we cant hear her) How many of my tables you gonna seat?

So, a minute later this chick comes to our table and was like sorry folks, I did not see you there. Riiiight. She only passed us like 4 times. Now in situations like this I look at my wife. The look on her face was priceless (if you know her, you know what I am talking about). She does not have a good poker face. I can be cordial because I dont want my food to have the special sauce. Now to top it off, she brings my wife the wrong order (strike 2 if you are counting). Bringing the wrong order is not that big of a deal in the large scheme of things, but it does show she was not paying attention.

Ok, so the ice cream was good. Flat out killed it. She brings the check. I tell my wife that I will go up and take care of the check, since she was still eating because of the slip up our waitress made. If you know anything about Friendly's, you would know that your waitress or a manager has to take the payment. So I am standing at the register and this guy is like, Ashley has to take this, let me see where she is. This guy just rang up his customer and they are about to leave when she gets to the register. I am standing there giving her the money and the check and she looks at the guy who called her like, what do you need me to do, should I get the door? W T F???

This is the exercise portion of this blog. I want you to stop reading this. Go to my profile and look at the pictures of me. DO I LOOK FUCKING INVISABLE? Who does that? So this is the second time you did not see me? I did not know that Helen Keller was working for Friendlys. You want to know what else this chick did not see? Her tip.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

F.U. Pods 2: The Attack of the White-Pods

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

So, I got to get Vol. 3 today and I was in for an experience. The few good things about Syracuse are that there is malls where you can pretty much get anything you want. Of course, at the Carousel Mall we have the lovely APPLE store. So if something is wrong with your I-Mac or your I-Pod you can go here and they will figure it out. Now you can set an appointment online and they show up when your time slot is up. No big deal, it is not like I have not done this before.

Well I am there and I am waiting. I am like 20 minutes early. So as I stand there, this overwhelming reality comes to me. I am the only person of color in this store. Everyone is white! The clerks and the customers are all white. At that moment it was like everything made sense. Here I am trying to get my White-Pod fixed and I am the only person that sticks out. Of course being dark in this situation, I know that if I am unsatisfied customer, I cannot act a fool. It is like a rule. This is not like it is Pathmark in the Bronx where you can get loud and no one really cares because, fuck it we are all loud. But here, if you act up and the are only brotha thereheh, then you know they will all think, look at this n*gger (not that they dont now). The sad part is none of them can tell the difference between a dark Latino and African American (unless I am David Ortiz).

But I digress. What made sense to me was, holy shit, if I had mad loot, like most of these white people, I would not care if my warranty was up. I would just buy a new one because that is my privilege. So, why not call it a White-Pod? Mine is white, I just cover it up with a skin. Then I was like, I would not be surprised if the CEO of APPLE went on Oprah and was like, These I-pods are not meant for black people. Meanwhile Johnny Whitebread is listening to T.I.

Anyway, so I did not get Vol. 3 yet. Apparently, they dont have a record of me renewing my warranty. But, I did not get mad because I have the information at home so I will come back. I know, kinda anti climatic, but the funny shit is, as I am in the store with my White-Pod, my wife is outside of the store getting solicited by some dude to fill out a survey about Latinos. First off, the survey was for like the University of Netherland (WTF???). The questions were like: Do you think Hispanics are hard workers? (No, all we do is eat rice and beans and multiply) Do you think America is still an immigrant country? (Ask the Native Americans). I am guessing the point of the survey is to question people about immigrationbut not to really ask Hispanics. I tell ya, it must be the dark skin that confuses people.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

F.U. Pods!!!

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

So, I am going on my 3rd I-Pod. Yes3. This is what I dont getyou pay all this money on a piece of equipment that should work. But, lucky for me, my first one was 11 months and some change into my 1-year warranty. So they had to give me a new one. Now, when I say new, I am not talk about a phat video I-Pod. I am talking about a never been used before version of the I-Pod that I bought more than a year ago.

My second I-Pod that I call Vol.2 is barely 3 months old and my shit doesnt work! Vol.2 is 20GB and I have just over 2000 songsand I jam hard let me tell you. I dont fuck around with my music. I got everything for Old School Hip Hop to Disco. I got everything from Salsa to Reggaeton. I dont play. So it pisses me off that this morning my FU-Pod dont work. Oh, and you best believe that I renewed my warranty so them people at APPLE will give me a new one.
So let me school you all on the I-Pod. When I spoke to the Tech about the life of an FU-Pod he said that the average life is 1.5 years. What? 1.5 Years? So if you do not renew your warranty (like my wifewho had vowed to shove hers up the ass of the CEO of APPLE), then you have to pay for a new one. Ok, so get this. If your unit breaks within the warranty they just give u a new one. As, I mentioned earlier, a new one is not the video FU-Pod, it is the same piece of shit version you bought. At this point, I am pissed because at the time we had just purchased an I-Pod Nano for my wifes cousin Vanessa and I will be damned if her unit is gonna break after 1.5 years.

This man tells me, Oh the Nanos will never break because they have flash technology. WTF??? Why am I hearing this now? Well the problem with your I-Pod is the hardware technology, they breakdown after while Fucking great. So he proceeds to tell me how great flash technology is. Apparently FU-Pods are not meant to be moved a lot, but they dont tell you this in those fucking commercials where you see people jogging with them or better yet.DANCING.

So Hopefully Vol.3 wont break anytime this year.

{Editor's Note: This was my first Blog on Myspace}


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