I am a firm believer that you are never too old to learn. I am not a traditionalist. I question everything, including myself. I am not a perfect man, nor do I expect perfection from the people I know. However, I do expect people to be real. I love to laugh and to make people laugh. I have come to realize that the truth hurts, but in truth comes freedom. We all know it hurts to be free.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I wanted to make some comments on the changes that you maybe seeing on this blog. I have updated some widgets. I wont lie here. I have gone to several blog sights and saw what I liked and just copied. I am thinking a lot about ways to use more space for me to fit the things that I want. Not that I want to make this a busy page, but more a of space that expresses me and my interests more.
Which is the main reason why I added the Twitter updates.I am really getting used to using this sight and have even linked Twitter with Facebook. This way I only update one status message.
Anyway...here something is something that had me laughing all day:
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Obama's 100 days...the signs are there.
The economy is a wreck. The ghetto is expanding because all the rich people are losing their jobs and moving into "affordable housing". No one has credit to buy a house or get a loan. Young students cant get into school and the old people are going back to school.
The Koreans want to blow us all to hell. Their oppression by the West has been so severe that they are close to doing something we may all regret. Lets not forget Iran is dying to develop a Nuclear program as well. This is the new arms race for the 21st century.
Swine flew is every where. This thing will turn into a pandemic that we have not seen before. Although we have modern medicine, there are going to be a lot of sick people. Those who do not have insurance are in deep shit. What a way to get rid of the poor!
So what does that mean? I cannot recall a president that had to deal with this much in his first hundred days. It is almost like the next big thing will be a Meteor coming to to earth just like in did in Deep Impact. Morgan Freeman was president and we all knew that once a black man was president we were in trouble...lol
All kidding aside, this man is doing a great job. I am the most amazed by his dealings with Cuba and Venezuela. It is a bumpy ride and we all knew it would be. But I am happy with the leadership of this country.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Latinos in Syracuse
Monday, April 27, 2009
Swine Flu: If they only listened to the Black Mexicans...
Let me talk a little about geography. When I look at a map of Mexico. I notice that there are a few places where Black Mexicans reside. Lets list them...Guerrero, Michoacán, Campeche, Quintana Roo, Yucatán, Oaxaca and Veracruz.
Interesting. Lets consider how Mexico feels about their black people. According to research I have done in my Master's course, Mexico does not view their black population as Mexican citizens. So is there no wonder that the protest of the people of Veracruz has gone largely unheard. The people there are protesting that the pig waste is making them sick.
Now, if the Mexican government remotely cared about the poor and black, perhaps this outbreak would have never happened, or at least not to the extent in which we are seeing today. Health Secretary Jose Angel Cordova claims that it was only a 4 year old boy from Veracruz that contracted the disease and the rest of people simply had the flu. Of course, all but one of the samples were destroyed.
So we have to take Cordova's word that the outbreak is not that bad. Yet there were people who have been sick since February. That does not seem right to me. I think something is being covered up. Sure, the reports say that Granjas Carroll de Mexico has no signs of Swine Flu within the herd or the employees but that does not explain why the people are protesting.
The fact of the matter is that the Mexican government is just grossly responsible for what is happening here. When you treat a certain number of the population as non citizens and you ignore their pleas for help, then you reap what you sow...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I think about this word and it makes me think about the segregation of dark and light Latinos. It makes me think about how I thought, for the longest time, that the word "Hispanic" described me. I am sure that most Latinos can, in some ways, trace back their roots to Spain. I would think that any one of us can do that very much the same way that many African Americans have traced their DNA to tribes in in Africa.
As I explained about Latino Sexuality, the Spanish settlers wanted to breed our people out. Perhaps even erase them from the history books. Thus, descendants of the Spanish and Indigenous or Africans accounts for many of current population that resides in Latin American and the Caribbean.
Last time I looked there was a lot of dark people in these places. But you would never know based on the Media. Hispanics are what you do generally see on Univision or Telemundo. These would be the Marc Anthonys and the Ricky Martins. The fair skinned Latinos with the blond Latinas on their arm. This is what Hispanic represents to me: The lack of any perception of African or Native roots on the people.
Latino represents what I have come to know of our people. A conglomeration of skin tones and dialects. To me, this incorporates the Chicanos from Chicago, the Cubans from Miami, the Dominicans from Washington Heights, and the Puerto Ricans from New York City (plus many more, of course).
There seems to be a fundamental failure with many "Hispanics" to really see past their own culture. One of the questions I opened this blog with many months ago was, Have you seen a Black Mexican? That is a question many people have told me no to. Would they fall under the realm of Hispanics? No, probably not because they are barely considered Mexican.
I know that not all Hispanics will ever consider themselves to be anything else. After all, Latino is still a relatively new term in the grand scheme of things. If you are wondering who comes up with all this stuff or who dictates what a group of people are called, that would be the US Census.
As long as they have been counting people, they are ones come up with the names. It was not to long ago that they still had Mulatto as a category for which people can pick. Quite frankly, this department does not want to have to count every last Ecuadorian or Panamanian. They would rather just group us all into one large group and be down with it. Which is why they fell Hispanic works. So you can pick your race as Black or White and have an ethnicity of Hispanic.
In the coming years it will not matter. Latinos are multiplying that rabbits (we can't help it we are oversexed). Perhaps when we are 50% of the population we will be able to finally pick a term that defines who we are as a whole.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
What I do not understand is the stereotyping when it comes to Latinos and sex. There is this lingering thought that most Latinos are homosexual in one way or another. Not to mention that if they are indeed gay, the guys are the most flamboyant. I get most of this imagery from what I see on television or the movies. So, I am not sure where this is all coming from.
Of course all these stereotypes get played out in pornography. While I am not familiar with male on male porn, the imagery I saw was enough for me to guess that there is Latino playing in many of these movies, or someone to pretending to be one. In terms of women, they are portrayed as insatiable women that love girl on girl action as well as anal sex. I am no where trying to give a lesson on Porn, but I think that it says a lot that a particular group of people are viewed in such slanted way when it come to sex.
Which brings me to my next point, all people of color come across as oversexed in mainstream media. Whether it is the imagine of black men with huge penises or Asian women who pay this submissive (and they like it) role, there is this overall theme that we all loved to be fucked. Not say that is not true, but think about this in a Colonial sense.
There were two ways that the Spanish Conquistadors or English Settlers (depending on the region) can get rid of us "heathens" was to kill us or breed us out. While killing us worked on so many different levels, the sexual domination that was trying to be enforced was much more fun for them. One has to remember that back in those times sex was considered to be the devils work if you not married. So the fantasy of our women "liking it" blossomed into this oversexed ideology.
So where does this leave us? Coincidentally when I did the same search in Google, I did not get those images. So, I am not even sure what that means either...
Friday, April 24, 2009
Allow Me To Re-Introduce Myself...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Chosen One
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Struggling to Focus
I brought work home tonight. My boss decides to tell me in the late afternoon that she needs a report by tomorrow. This report usually takes me several days to complete. So I am trying my hardest to make sure I get this done tonight. Which is the problem with being so damn good at what you do...no one else can do it.
I just watched the Mets fall apart. Good Lord. It takes me more than just a few minutes to cool down when they lose so badly. Let me just go on the record and say that I would rather they get blown out in games. This way I can just not be too into the game. Losing close games makes me want to... I am good. I am over it.
My poor dog. His eyes are not doing well. I think the other cataract popped. He looks bad in my opinion, but god bless that dog, he just rolls with it. What I do not get is that despite his eye issues, he is eating now! Which is something he was not doing before. We continue to give him his drops and he does not seem in pain. He is running around (although bumping into shit).
Then there is the fact that I have a cough that will not go away. I have been living on DayQuil for the last few days. I would take NyQuil...but last time I did that, I had issues waking up and staying up. So, i am trying to feel better.
Anyway...I did mention in my last post that I wrote other poems. I did post one on Myspace and I did archive it on this blog. Just in case any of you wanted to read it...
Monday, April 20, 2009
That is always how I get things
I always win arguments
Ok fine, I win some of them
Well, at least I do my job right
Damn, I do somethings right…
Well damn this is how it is
When all I want to do is just live
My life the right way, there is always
Someone there to tell a man that he is
My mother thinks I am
Shit, my wife thinks I am
My Boss thinks I am
So how do I make it right?
Do I need to just shut the fuck up?
Do I pretend my opinions don’t matter?
Because we all know if I tell
Them that I feel my voice means nothing
They will all get together and tell me
That I am
So tell me what is a man to do?
I have friends who have given up
Their nuts to the women they are with
Their balls lay in a pouch that sits on
The bedroom mantle that has a sign that
Says “FOR RENT”
So when they need then on a rainy day
Or perhaps when an intruder comes into
The house, the balls can be inserted back
In and maybe for the split second he can become
You see it is not very hard to look back
And see how wrong I have been
I was born wrong
I was born with the wrong skin
I was born with the wrong sin
I grew up with the wrong hair
Lived in the wrong city, the wrong neighborhood
Spoke the wrong language
Ate the wrong foods
Rooted for the wrong team
Chose the wrong parent
Chose the wrong president
So why do I fight?
Maybe, for that one chance to be right?
I fight because no one else will fight for me
Because no woman will understand
How hard it is for a man
Of color to live in world dominated
By people telling him he is
All the time because he cannot be right
All the time because he cannot be white
All the time because he cannot fight
The fact he will always be viewed
As insecure, when in reality he never
Had the choice to be secure when he is always
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I Have to be Better
I am not going to make any excuses and say that my job is working me. Sure, I work a lot, but I find time to write, so I need to find time to read. When you blog, you being to realize that creating a blog is more that just the thoughts you put on the screen. It is more of a collective experience in which people share their lives.
We all choose to write so that everyone can read. Comments are always welcome and are at times very needed to continue the share experience. For me, I haven't really been doing my part in this and I need to do better.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Light at The End of The Tunnel
But then there is graduation. Which is just a series of long days before the summer starts. Commencement is always a bittersweet time. I get to say good boy to students that I have know for 4 years. Some which I have grown close to. While I am happy they are graduating, there is the feeling of loss at some point because I am not sure when I will see the again. I do consider one person in particular to be a little brother I never had.
Once class ends and the summer begins there is always this feeling like...ok what do I do now? While I do have plans in some parts of the summer. I have no idea what I am doing for my birthday. I have had some ideas, which will require me taking some vacation time. But, right now it is all thoughts. Nothing concrete.
I am turning 35 this year and I feel like I can do more with my life. Work takes up a lot of my time and I find that I do not have as much time for myself as I should. I am trying my best to save money for things I want to do. The thought of getting a second job has entered my mind frequently. The problem for me is that I value my time way to much to be working 2 jobs.
Regardless...I am focused to get past these last few weeks so I can start enjoying my summer....
Friday, April 17, 2009
Well, I want to apologize. His show was far better than I expected it to be. T-Pain is a straight performer. He rolled out on staged in a green pimped out golf cart with Hydraulics. It was nuts! He had dancers and had stage lighting that rivaled Kanye's show.
I will say that his people turned out to be very classy. As I write this they are still breaking down the stage. They are on tour and will be heading to DC shortly. A very professional bunch of people that know how to run show from the sounds and lights to VIP access. I did enjoy myself and reminds me of why I got into this business.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
A Few Points...
One would think that I am excited for this concert but I am not. I know that T-Pain has many songs (most of which are with other people) and even though I am interested in seeing how he is going to pull a solo concert. I will leave my opinion to after the show.
I keep hearing that Dolphy day was supposed to be today. I am so very sad that it not turn out to be the case. Wednesday night I thought I was in Baghdad with all the explosions of Fireworks that were happening on this block. I saw a cop car and thought maybe these kids would stop, but, not at all. A routine traffic stop....at 3am. The cop ignored what was going on around him.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
My Dog is Sick
The Vet that we took him too was just a royal bitch. She did just about everything to make it seem that we do not know how to treat our dog. She ran some tests. Then gets on Josie for not bringing him in every month. Apparently, when a dog has diabetes, you are supposed to have him come in for a check up every month....a fact that was never shared with us. Not to mention that each visit is like damn near a hundred bucks.
Of course she questions how we get the Insulin. Well, Josie tells this brainiac that Novlin N is a over the counter insulin that any Pharmacy has. Then she is like,"Well you need a prescription for the syringes." Again she had to be corrected. You can by needles in bulk, dumb ass. Then she tried to find out if he has any accidents. Which, he does, but not often. This bitch wants us to get a urine sample. Are you kidding? What does that have to do with his eyes? He pisses a river with no pain...there is no infection there.
So she tells us that Rocky is in pain, which just breaks my heart. Do you think she gives up anything to ease his pain? Not at all. So after $280, we are stuck with a small bottle of drops for his eyes. She recommends we go talk him to Cornell for treatment.
Whatever Doc! There is an Animal Hospital on the other side of LeMoyne (where they kept me up again last night....I swear I hate them little fuckers). There is a Vet there that comes highly recommended. I am taking Rocky there next week.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wii Ware: Dr. Mario!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy Easter...Are you ready to be Judged?
Before I knock out I wanted to share something that has been on my mind all weekend. It stems from a comment made on another blog about Easter. Most of you should know that I am a fan of Brookey's Cafe Blog. This past Friday she made a brief post saying... "for those who observe, Happy Blessed Good Friday!" Not a big deal to me, but someone made a comment that I had an issue with. Here is what she said and my response:
It is my duty as an Israelite who worships Christ with understanding to tell you and anyone who may read this, the truth about Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ,celebrates the passover and not Easter (Exodus 12). The holy day also known as the sabbath is the 7th day of the week. The 7th day is Saturday, not Sunday. Check out the calendar and you will see that Sunday is the first day of the week. Sunday is an ordinary day. Read Genesis 2:1-3, Leviticus 23:1-3, Matthew 12:5-8, Ecclesiasticus 33:7-9 in the apocrypha. The apocrypha is a Greek word which means hidden books. These books were taken out of the bible by Satan. You can still find some bibles with the apocrypha in it. I pray for all my brothers and sisters that you may see the truth. Praise Christ for the opportunity to teach the truth.
Your sista in Christ
April 10, 2009 12:22 PM
Brook have a great weekend! I hope you enjoy your time off. Get some rest too! Ok...now for my 2 cents. Easter is not about what Jesus celebrated. It is about his Resurrection. I didn't know Satan had access to the bible, however there are so many versions I would almost agree with you.I don't really care what day the sabbath is because evil does not take a day off, so why should i?
April 10, 2009 1:10 PM
There was no response to this. I really did think about this all weekend. I am not a fan of people pushing beliefs on others. I am so not a fan of people who don't know their shit. I may not be the most religious person in the world, but I consider myself spiritual. I am a believer that the covenant with the Lord is more personal than anything else. If you read the Old Testament, particularly Genesis and Exodus, you know that God talks about the way to worship him (or her) is to create an alter and pray. To me this means that your relationship with the Lord is on a personal level. So I do not buy into many of the teaching of the Catholic Church. We must remember that Jesus was a rebel himself.
My truth is that God Loves us all. We all will get judged in the end. You can dance all day and talk about how you are saved, but at the end of the day only God will judge you for who you really are. Do not think that you can spend 6 days out the week being a generally bad person and then go to Church on Sunday for forgiveness. If you think that God is that shallow then you have another thing coming...like Hell.
With that...I hope everyone had a Happy Easter...I know I did.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Because options were limited he had to join the Navy. Lucky enough it was not during a time of war. He served many years. After active duty he returned to New York with a trade. Got a job with Con Edison and the married for the second time. In 1974 he bore a son.
That man is my father. The one who taught me most of what I know now. During and after a very difficult divorce, we was able to guide me through High School and College. Always telling me that I owe him nothing because, after all he was doing his job as a father.
I felt the closest to him when I had a terrible break up with an ex girlfriend. I was the first time I really felt that him and I had a shared experience. He knew what I was going through. He empathized with me. It was the first time that I actually cried because he comforted me.
Since then, I stopped being the kid who rebelled against his parents. I wanted to be the kid that parents talk to their friends about. I think for the most part I was. I believe I was there for him when he was diagnosed with Cancer, due to the work he did for Con Edison.
He has survived that and continues to survive the brutal weather of Sunny Deltona, Florida. Happy Birthday Papi. I love you.
Friday, April 10, 2009
I have encountered students who feel they should get an award, or an internship because of who they are and the not the hard work that is needed to gain it. I find myself wondering how the mentality changed from one generation to other.
Could it be that technology is to blame? I say that because I think about how the world was when I graduated from SU and how it is now. Social Networking, Cell Phones, Emails, and iPods. These things were non existent less than 15 years ago. My nephew surfs the web and has an iPod...and he is 10. My niece is the same age and called me from her cell phone...
No wonder that children feel that they deserve it all. They are getting that way from the start. It just an interesting observation to me.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Take Me Out to the Ball Game...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I think I am addicted to Social Networking. It has become quite clear to me as I signed up to LinkedIn. I am not sure what it is about these sites. Each one provides something different. Some are really way though, but others are pretty good to the point that they are very addictive. So I will just give a list of all the sites I am on. (Editor's Note...Don't Judge Me!)
I have kept an account on these sites because you never know who you might run into. I do not normally erase a profile. I do have some on sites I rather not say due to personal reasons! I think social networking can be fun, until they get boring.
I know there are other sites because I still get invites. Maybe I will check them out. But, one thing is for sure, I do not pay to Social Network.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Is there an App for that?
I have needs. We all do. I can look up apps on iTunes and see what is out there. I am mostly interested in free ones. But let me ask....Is there an app for....
- Porn! I mean you could be home alone one night and your computer's either too slow or maybe you don't have one! Is there an app where Porn can be watched the way it should be? and can you fast forward?
- Rolling a blunt! Anyone of us could have a bad day at work and you just need to relieve the stress...or perhaps have cataracts (...and own an iPhone?). In either case, rolling a fatty might be an issue. Not enough weed...the paper is not rolling right, whatever the issue. Is there an app for first time blunt rollers?
- Strip Clubs Finder! In a new town? Visiting parents or friends? At a conference? You are just bored out of your fucking mind and you need some sort of adult entertainment and have no clue where the nearest (or hottest) strip club is. Is there an app to help you find one?
- Blog Topics! Stuck on a topic? Don't know what to write so you resort to Facebook lists and other silly questionnaires? Perhaps writers block has set in. Is there an app for random topics to write about?
- Dominican Detector! Are you Latino? Are you African American? Having a bad hair day sucks when you cannot find someone to do your hair or getting a tight hair cut? Is there an app that lets you pinpoint a Dominican that can do a fade, or a relaxer?
Well Apple boasts there is an app for just about anything....
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The title of this site is "Inside my head", yet I think about sex most of the time and never talk about it, so is the title of this blog false advertisement? I thinking it is. So I will talk about how much I think about sex. I was thinking about creating a whole separate site, very much like this one, to blog about sex. Maybe I would call it "My Head Inside". That is not a bad title!
Every man thinks about sex, so I am no different. I love women and I think most are very beautiful. I am, however, very picky when It comes to women. The ones that stand out in my mind are the ones who have the most charisma. I need to be able to joke with you and you need to laugh when I make fun of other people.
The body helps. I do not like skinny women. I think that most thin women look sickly, sorta like Olive Oil. I am very much and Ass man, but a health chest is very...helpful. I will say though, different women have different body types, so swagger is very important. So is self confidence.
Anyway...distractions....see, this how I get. There is something about sex that just shuts down my brain (maybe lack of blood flow to that region). But it is not women on tv who do it for me so much. I like real women. When you see a nice one...then that can distract you.
I hope I got my point across, I think I was beating around the "bush"....lol
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Please Don't Stop the Music...
While it was not as packed as I would have liked it, there was enough black people to have fun. I am sure once First Fridays really picks up steam, then there will be plenty of people to hang out with. I will say that you will not see pictures of me on Facebook. I have banned them.
I love being able to go out and here music blaring, the one thing that I gets me, is that I wish I knew the names to all the songs I hear in the club. When I hear a song I really like, I will write it into my phone. Of course, I am not sure what the title of the song would be. I will guess the song based on the words I hear during the chorus. This does not always work.
Here is the thing. I collect music. If I hear it and like it then I need to have it. So last night I heard 3 songs that I needed to have. I was only able to "get" one. This does bother me. I love listening to music, no matter where I go. At this point I just have 2 songs in my head and is forced to browse music sites searching for these songs.
While that sounds pretty desperate...I always find new songs in this process. If anyone knows a better way, they need to let me know...
Friday, April 3, 2009
I will admit there are times in which there is nothing to do up here. You have to pick and choose events that might be fun. Unfortunately for me, most of the times, the events that we end up picking the most are boring. What is worse than that is to go to a party full of undergraduate students, which is why I always say that no one wants to be the old man in the club.
So again, I am excited. There hasn't been something to keep people like me entertained for awhile. I get to drink and be merry. Perhaps, I will even make new connections. More importantly I get to have fun. So, while there are many people who have told me that there is nothing to do up here, I can point to event like these.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Yeah...My house is along this strip...and this happends at 3am. I so hate this school.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I Worked Out!
I had debated on what to do today. I was thinking about going to the YMCA. They have some really great facilities and the pool is just world class. However, I knew that if I did go there it would be to do one thing: play basketball. I love to play ball because it is a very intense workout and the sport is just fun to play. The problem becomes that I am playing with kids 10 years younger than me. Bad enough I am out of shape, but to have some kid blow by me is not going to work. I need to build stamina.
My co-worker suggested that I walk. Since I do live by Le Moyne college, I can walk through their campus and the surrounding area from about an hour and get a very good work. This area has a lot of hills. I have jogged this area before so I know exactly what I would be getting into. I was ready to do that until I got outside. It was brisk out side. Barely 50 degrees and since I am tired of the cold, I decided on scrapping the whole walk idea.
Which really left me with no choice but to use the old treadmill. I got home at about 7:30 and just decided to put on the sweats. It was a long day as usual and I am starting to feel the Starbucks wear off. But, I just had to do this. So I put the headphones on and reved her up. The good thing about this machine is that it has programs. So I can just punch a preset program and I just start running.
This was the best thing I have done all day. It got my blood flowing, and I feel like I was able to unwind as well. I may have to do this just about everyday. I want to build up that stamina so that when I do decide to play sports (Softball starts in May) I can be ready.