Thursday, November 23, 2006

FU-Pods 4: A New Hope

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

I never thought I would see the day that my wife would be listening to her I-pod, but folks it has happened. This woman probably got tired of me rockin' to my beats. One day she dusted off her broken pod and decided it was time that she fixed this. I am not one to try and stop her, but I was thinking that it will cost us deal of money in order to fix this. Josie is resourceful…to a very scary degree. She decides to investigate I-pods in general. She hits the internet.

So one night, a few weeks ago, she is feverishly on her laptop just typing away and reading. I don't remember exactly what I was doing but I here a bang. I look up and she has something in her hand. I figure she dropped something so I continue to do whatever it was I was doing. Bang…I look up again like what the fuck? She is not even paying attention to me. Bang… I ask her, "what the fuck are you doing?" It turns out that she is attempting to fix her I-pod. What? How? Is exactly what I said.

In her investigation, she came up with several sites that she read through about faulty I-pods and how to fix them. One of those describes a process of getting a non functioning I-pod to reboot in a different way. So, basically you have to bang the shit out of it like 12 times. I laughed when I heard this shit. That shit is soooo stupid. Who has the time to do this? Of course, I make jokes about and after the 11th bang, her I-pod boots up!!!! Are you shittin me???

The menu pops up in a different font than anything I have seen on an I-pod. There are commands I have never seen. So she continues to read these instructions. Personally, I still did not think this thing would work, but sure enough she got it working. Re-loaded the Apple software and found a way for her laptop to read her I-pod. I have no idea if she still plans on sending that letter to Apple's CEO, but I will say that she beat the system.

We are both convinced that this is all a fucking plan. Remember that I am on my 3rd I-pod. When one of these things breaks, they replace it with little to no question. If you have a warranty, then you just get a new one for free. If you don't, then you have to pay $250 for a "new" one. I remember asking one of the techs is why do they continue making old ones to replace and he really had no answer, but I have one. I am sure that all those I-pods that are "broken" they just "fix" and sell them back to pendejos who do not have a warranty. I wont mention how the I-pods that seem to "break" within a year are most likely ones that have windows formatting software. The drama continues…

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Where to Begin??? (Kramer is a Racist)

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

What can I say? I have taken a bit of a hiatus because I am so busy, but I could not let this one go by. It did take me a bit to digest this act. I have felt like maybe I have been too sensitive on issues of race. Maybe, I am looking too deeply into issues of white privilege. Then Michael Richards does his "meltdown" and after seeing this crap, I have decided 2 things:

1. I am never watching Seinfeld again. The show had its moments and had to do living in NYC. So, on a lot of issues I can relate to. This is despite the fact that there were hardly any black people (all I count is the black lawyer). But typically there were really no constant person of color. I guess NYC is full of white people.
2. I will never say the N-word again. I don't say it much now, but I am done. When I am listening to hip hop I will substitute the word with "brotha" or just not say the line.

The way "KKKramer" said those words were hurtful to me, much more than I would have ever expected. I have seen Rodney King get his ass beat down in a video by a bunch of cops and that was no where near the horror I felt when seeing this clip. It confirms a lot of things in my head about many people.

The worst part is the "apology" given on Late Night with David Letterman. What a farce! Afro-Americans!!! Who still uses the phrase? We (and I say we, because Latinos are black too) are not a style of hair. Of course, he tells the world he is not a racist. Well he fooled me. Those comments were heart felt and it showed how he really felt. You don't mention lynchings 50 years ago if you do not know what you are talking about. White privilege is real folks, if you do not know about it, I will be happy to tell you.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I Have Poetry On My Mind...

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

Ok, first I have to say that this is new to me. I am not saying that I have never written poetry, but I am pretty sure that I have not been inspired like this before. So why did I write this Poem? Well, I will blame it on Hebrew Mamita & Nyathera (both on my friend's list). I will tell you. This sucker just poured out of me. I do consider myself a writer, but never a poet. Well anyway here it is:

I have poetry on my mind.
inspiration is just a sign
of how things are changing within
me, are so many different emotions
and feelings that I cannot always express,
like a train that goes from parkchester to 125th
I look out the window and I see my life passing by
like rooftops in the Bronx when I am on the 6
I let the pen flow
or keyboard know
how my fingers flow
I just cannot stop because
I have poetry on my mind

I have Poetry on my mind
inspiration is just a sign
that I can love life and the little things
like goya products and chicken wings
like maduros and Corona
like The Mets in the summer
like getting laid after being drunk
the list goes on and on
like the lies of an American President
who refuse to see
how like you and me
we are all the same
from people from New Orleans
to the abandoned Lebonese
but, it is those little things that can make angry
I have poetry on my mind

I have Poetry on my mind
inspiration is just a sign
that I love my people
no matter how late
no matter how ignorant
no matter how homophobic
no matter how prejudiced
I love my people
even if you never see
someone dark like me
on TV
like 47 or 41
Telemundo or Univision
I love mi gente
but I am not blind
I have Poetry on my mind

When I read it to my wife, i realized how short it is. But oh well.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Been Awhile...

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

Yeah so, it has been a while since I last wrote a blog. So here are some random thoughts:

I have been mad at my job. But I wont get into that. But, I will say that it has never been harder being Latino in a predominately white workplace. So, I will leave at that.

Things have been ok though. My trip to NYC was good. Went to a Met game which was great! David Wright is the man. I drank way too much! Then I got this fat hair cut (which is all gone now). That cut was so tight that I threw out my clippers when I got home. I can never duplicate that. So now I am on a mission to find a barber up here. I do have a few leads. I am going to go get a cut this weekend.

I went to a play called Beer for Breakfast (please check my top 16), starring the ever talented, Ricardo Maldonado (check my top 16). Please check it out, although, I dont know when the last date of the play is. Oh, if you are not in NYC, then you cant see the play and are officially, ass-out.

I saw the Al Gore movie, An Inconvenient Truth. Powerful shit! You need to see this movie. We are all gonna die soon! I wish I could laugh about it but it is true. All you people who dont think it is not a coincidence that we got all this rain and flooding is fooling themselves. Manhattan will sink before California breaks off...and Syracuse is on hill, so am I

Can someone tell me exactly when old school music ends? I am thinking 1992. I say that because Low End Theory from A Tribe Called Quest should definitely be condsired old school. But Das Efx and Redman who came out that year shouldnt be. Plus, 1993 is when Wu Tang Clan came out and as much as I love me some WU Tang, no way are they old school.

Ok, who really cares about Tom Cruise and his fucking kid? I dont. Shit when Will and Jada were having kids we heard nothing about that. I guess the media dont want to focus on black children unless they are looting in New Orleans.

For those who have asked, my I-pod is fine. I do have to take it in to be looked at though (wtf) because when you plug it into a computer it is supposed to charge. Well needs less to say it does not. Can they make anything right? You know Microsoft is coming with something to compete with these FU-Pods? Well they need to hurry.

Last thought, who really has 230 friends on myspace? I mean, I am not hating even though I got like 67. I makes me laugh cause I did not think I KNEW 67 people.

Saturday, July 1, 2006

Old School is the Only School

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

I have such a love for music. I realize that more and more everyday. There are several things that I love outside family and friends (and pets); Music, baseball (lets go Mets!), comic books, movies, and to a lesser degree video games. Yet, music bridges the gaps in my life. I hear a song and my mind will flood with memories of either good or bad times in my life. Certain songs will even make me think of a sunny day of when perhaps I first heard the song. I can say that Alicia Keyes first album Song in A Minor reminds me of brisk Syracuse mornings because I played her CD non stop each time I walked to work from Fellows Ave. So there is no wonder that, as I write this, I have 2138 (and growing everyday) on my I-pod.

The music I collect ranges from just about all genres, except country. But, I like to believe that I specialize in the old stuff or what I consider to be old. Sure, you will hear me jam to T.I. in my office but, I love music from the 70s and the 80s. I am talking about Old School Music. I mean I am really talking about when Disco was hot, when rap music was brand new, when R&B was really Rhythm and Blues, and when Michael Jackson was black. I am also talking about when Salsa music was classic!

I really believe I have the best music collection of anyone my age. I can make a play list for any occasion. You need background music? I got jazz for you. You need entrance music? I got music from soundtracks you wont believe. Lets not forget House music and all it forms. Lets not forget old school reggae either. I cant get enough of this stuff and just when I think that I cannot think of any more music to get, I see a commercial that has a song I dont have. Better yet, my father will have CDs of salsa classics I did not even think about before. The world of music, you gotta love it.

Funny story before I sign off. I was in the Bronx the other week (and happy to say that it is rockin) and when I visit my old hometown I make sure I bring new music back up with me because Syracuse isnt on top of all this shit. So I am on Castle Hill. Just got out of eating from a place called Sabrosura. I figured I would stop by a place called S.O.S, which is a DJ Specialty shop. I get all the music I need from this place. So we walk there and I see this small woman cop, who was built like a fucking rock, come out of the store. She doesnt have on a uniform, but you can tell she is a cop because of her gun and her handcuffs. I am thinking, ok she got some music and as I am about to walk in her partner was like, nah man, they are closed. So I am looking around like why the hell are they closed??? This guy, who is sitting on a mailbox next to two of his friends explains that they got shut down due to bootlegging and other illegal shit. Damn! I was so madbut I wont tell the cops how I bought a phat CD in a SHOE STORE near Pelham Parkway! As, I said...cant live without the music (and yes, it was and old school cd).

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Lessons Learned

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

As my birthday approaches, I wanted to go over the list of things I have learned over the last year or so. I was thinking about these this morning:

Skunks are bad,Very BAD!
Dont get your car towed, not fun.
Confetti at a house party is never a good idea;
Neither are the same party.
Someone in my office has a BIG mouth.
Kanye West is the man! So is Big Daddy Kane (stop eating so much, Kane)
Text Messaging is too addicting.
The warning labels on the cans of insulation actually mean something. (Dont Ask)
Never anger Josie in the morning or at night. (Still working on that)
Never mow the lawn when it is wet.
Check if you have toilet paper on the roll...BEFORE you sit down.
Dog shit is not fertilizer.
Mice can sure squeal loud.
Comic books are an expensive habit, so is Josies love for COACH
Toronto has the cleanest trains.
Cell Phones dont work well fully submerged in water.
Then again, always check you pockets before diving in a pool.
Never wait for your mother in law to navigate traffic in Puerto Rico (Solo Salida!)
Luqillo Beach (P.R) is the best beach in the world.

That pretty much sums up my year. Paz!

Monday, June 5, 2006

The Day of the Devil

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

The day of the Devil huh? I am sure that many people are nervous that 6/6/06 is here. I wonder why that is. Scared of true evil perhaps? What is true Evil? Is it Middle Eastern insurgents fighting for what they believe in? Is it Homosexuals who are just trying to make a living while trying to be happy with their lives? Perhaps it is a power hungry President that lets thousands suffer in New Orleans? I am not sure. However true evil does exist. As much as people talk about Jesus being in each and everyone of us, there are people who have Satan in them. I wont get into specifics, but you all know evil when you see it or hear it. Truly evil people can manipulate others to get what they want. Evil takes place everyday. It has a place in history, but most cant see it.

I am not trying to preach. Please, I will be the first to admit I am 90 percent sure I am going to hell (lol). But, that does not make me evil. What I want to say is that while people are quick to judge others, there is only one being that has the right to judge. Let me also remind all of you that the bible has been rewritten so many times, how can we really know what it truly says or means? Only 200 years ago was the bible used to enslave black people. 400 years ago was it used to slaughter the Native Americans. So before you really judge for yourself what evil truly is, think about whom you are judging.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

FU Pods 3: The Return of the I-Pod (and more)

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

Ok, So for the last time, I go to the APPLE store and get my new I-POD. So as I am waiting, I see something so fantastic! Another black person walks into the store! I was so hype. I wont mention the white girl he came in with, but I was happy. Well, despite it all I did get another I-Pod that I now call, Vol. 3. My warranty is until January and I will be so careful with it because apparently there was a dent. I dont remember dropping, but ok. The Tech was being extremely nice to me so I wont bad mouth APPLE, at least today. My wife, however still vows so shove her old White Pod up the CEOs ass (sideways).

I am glad that is over with. One thing that bothers me (and I dont know if anyone goes through this) is when people think you are invisible. First let me just make a statement: Although not everything is about race, I cannot help but think that most things are. With that being said, we are at Friendlys the other day. It has been mad hot and we were in the mood for some ice cream. So, Josie, Nessa, and I get seated, look through the menu, and just wait. Rule of thumb, if you are not even spoken to after 5 minutes of being seated, that is way too long. So, 15 minutes later, I ask the hostess if was any intention of us getting a waitress. She looks over to this blond woman and was likeyou gonna take care of them? So she replies to her (like we cant hear her) How many of my tables you gonna seat?

So, a minute later this chick comes to our table and was like sorry folks, I did not see you there. Riiiight. She only passed us like 4 times. Now in situations like this I look at my wife. The look on her face was priceless (if you know her, you know what I am talking about). She does not have a good poker face. I can be cordial because I dont want my food to have the special sauce. Now to top it off, she brings my wife the wrong order (strike 2 if you are counting). Bringing the wrong order is not that big of a deal in the large scheme of things, but it does show she was not paying attention.

Ok, so the ice cream was good. Flat out killed it. She brings the check. I tell my wife that I will go up and take care of the check, since she was still eating because of the slip up our waitress made. If you know anything about Friendly's, you would know that your waitress or a manager has to take the payment. So I am standing at the register and this guy is like, Ashley has to take this, let me see where she is. This guy just rang up his customer and they are about to leave when she gets to the register. I am standing there giving her the money and the check and she looks at the guy who called her like, what do you need me to do, should I get the door? W T F???

This is the exercise portion of this blog. I want you to stop reading this. Go to my profile and look at the pictures of me. DO I LOOK FUCKING INVISABLE? Who does that? So this is the second time you did not see me? I did not know that Helen Keller was working for Friendlys. You want to know what else this chick did not see? Her tip.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

F.U. Pods 2: The Attack of the White-Pods

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

So, I got to get Vol. 3 today and I was in for an experience. The few good things about Syracuse are that there is malls where you can pretty much get anything you want. Of course, at the Carousel Mall we have the lovely APPLE store. So if something is wrong with your I-Mac or your I-Pod you can go here and they will figure it out. Now you can set an appointment online and they show up when your time slot is up. No big deal, it is not like I have not done this before.

Well I am there and I am waiting. I am like 20 minutes early. So as I stand there, this overwhelming reality comes to me. I am the only person of color in this store. Everyone is white! The clerks and the customers are all white. At that moment it was like everything made sense. Here I am trying to get my White-Pod fixed and I am the only person that sticks out. Of course being dark in this situation, I know that if I am unsatisfied customer, I cannot act a fool. It is like a rule. This is not like it is Pathmark in the Bronx where you can get loud and no one really cares because, fuck it we are all loud. But here, if you act up and the are only brotha thereheh, then you know they will all think, look at this n*gger (not that they dont now). The sad part is none of them can tell the difference between a dark Latino and African American (unless I am David Ortiz).

But I digress. What made sense to me was, holy shit, if I had mad loot, like most of these white people, I would not care if my warranty was up. I would just buy a new one because that is my privilege. So, why not call it a White-Pod? Mine is white, I just cover it up with a skin. Then I was like, I would not be surprised if the CEO of APPLE went on Oprah and was like, These I-pods are not meant for black people. Meanwhile Johnny Whitebread is listening to T.I.

Anyway, so I did not get Vol. 3 yet. Apparently, they dont have a record of me renewing my warranty. But, I did not get mad because I have the information at home so I will come back. I know, kinda anti climatic, but the funny shit is, as I am in the store with my White-Pod, my wife is outside of the store getting solicited by some dude to fill out a survey about Latinos. First off, the survey was for like the University of Netherland (WTF???). The questions were like: Do you think Hispanics are hard workers? (No, all we do is eat rice and beans and multiply) Do you think America is still an immigrant country? (Ask the Native Americans). I am guessing the point of the survey is to question people about immigrationbut not to really ask Hispanics. I tell ya, it must be the dark skin that confuses people.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

F.U. Pods!!!

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

So, I am going on my 3rd I-Pod. Yes3. This is what I dont getyou pay all this money on a piece of equipment that should work. But, lucky for me, my first one was 11 months and some change into my 1-year warranty. So they had to give me a new one. Now, when I say new, I am not talk about a phat video I-Pod. I am talking about a never been used before version of the I-Pod that I bought more than a year ago.

My second I-Pod that I call Vol.2 is barely 3 months old and my shit doesnt work! Vol.2 is 20GB and I have just over 2000 songsand I jam hard let me tell you. I dont fuck around with my music. I got everything for Old School Hip Hop to Disco. I got everything from Salsa to Reggaeton. I dont play. So it pisses me off that this morning my FU-Pod dont work. Oh, and you best believe that I renewed my warranty so them people at APPLE will give me a new one.
So let me school you all on the I-Pod. When I spoke to the Tech about the life of an FU-Pod he said that the average life is 1.5 years. What? 1.5 Years? So if you do not renew your warranty (like my wifewho had vowed to shove hers up the ass of the CEO of APPLE), then you have to pay for a new one. Ok, so get this. If your unit breaks within the warranty they just give u a new one. As, I mentioned earlier, a new one is not the video FU-Pod, it is the same piece of shit version you bought. At this point, I am pissed because at the time we had just purchased an I-Pod Nano for my wifes cousin Vanessa and I will be damned if her unit is gonna break after 1.5 years.

This man tells me, Oh the Nanos will never break because they have flash technology. WTF??? Why am I hearing this now? Well the problem with your I-Pod is the hardware technology, they breakdown after while Fucking great. So he proceeds to tell me how great flash technology is. Apparently FU-Pods are not meant to be moved a lot, but they dont tell you this in those fucking commercials where you see people jogging with them or better yet.DANCING.

So Hopefully Vol.3 wont break anytime this year.

{Editor's Note: This was my first Blog on Myspace}


Related Posts with Thumbnails