Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday Musings

Me and Willie Perdomo

I stopped doing Tid Bit Tuesdays because many of my thoughts are not all scattered as they once were. Today I feel like I need to just reign myself in with all the thoughts that I have. So, I may just ramble a bit...

I have come to realize I need to fix my life. Don't get me wrong, I think my life is good and getting better by the moment, however, there is a point in a person's life in which they need to clean out the gutters. I look at my financial situation and I know I need to do something different. I am tired of being in debt and I am tired of not having enough money. I am not saying how much money I need but I just feel that is not enough.

Money aside, I think my decision to go back home is a good one. Of course, I look around me and everything that I need to do before that day comes and I almost feel overwhelmed. This isn't something that I cannot just do overnight. But, the good thing is I am very determined to change the course of my life, which means I need to take some risks.

Which brings me to my next point. I have focused so much on staying in Higher Education that I have not considered that my skill set is very valuable in other industries. I tell students all the time to think outside the box and step foot outside their comfort zone. Why cant I do the same? This point was brought up by an old friend of mine that suggested getting a job at another University should be my safety net and my goal should be to do something new. After all, I have already conquered my realm.

I will admit that this thought does make me excited. When I left NYC 8 years ago, I had no career. I was just trying to make it. Now, I will return with a sense of accomplishment and a set of skills that sells itself. So, who knows what the future has in store.

Here is the other thing that I so enjoyed over my busy weekend: I got to meet Willie Perdomo. He is a legendary Latino Poet that is both hilarious and very insightful. He performed some of his work on Friday night and i was very fortunate to have both lunch and dinner with him. He expressed to that New York City has changed and depending on your point of view, it is either for the good or the bad. Clearly since I am not down there enough I cannot gage which one it is, however, I miss it enough not to care.

Willie Perdomo's poetry was very inspiring and it made me want to just start writing all the poetry I have in my head. The problem is that I have been fighting the idea that I am a poet. I do not have a desire to perform this craft and the poetry I write has always been more about the moment. But, sometimes a poem will just hit me, which is why I now have to carry a notebook and pen with me where ever I go.

I did happen to write a poem since the last one I posted, but that one will not see the light of day right now. I amaze myself with some of the things I put on paper. This one is not ready for the world to read. The thought of making another blog just for poetry did cross my mind though. I will say that I did start on another poem before I had dinner with Willie. I would like to finish it at some point. Of course, I seem to say that all the time to myself. I have so many unfinished poems it is not even funny...

On a totally different subject, I will start lifting some weights this week. I need to work on there these arms. I have had several offers to join some guys at the gym, but I have declined because I simply want to go at my own pace. No need to look like the Incredible Hulk. I just want to look like a better version of me. Again...I am trying to fix my life in all aspects...


Unknown said...

Peace, hermano. I stumbled upon this blog because Bianca Laureano retweeted your link. I was curious to see who she was cooing about (turns out it was Willie who I happen to work with, lol!), but I did read the post and was inspired to follow you as well. For one it's very heartwearming to hear stories of brothers and sisters following their creative impulses, and there needn't be an audience for it to be worthy doing. It's also such a rare blessing to see a brother be so transparent about his desires and struggles to achieve more in life. I'm sure I don't have to tell you about all the ways men -- especially those of color -- are socialized into a masculinity that can be pretty damn confining. So I'ma return the favor and recommend this amazing book: CREATING A LIFE WORTH LIVING: A PRACTICAL COURSE IN CAREER DESIGN FOR ARTISTS, INNOVATORS, AND OTHERS INSPIRING TO A CREATIVE LIFE by Carol Lloyd. For real. Go get it now. And remember -- educators are creatives, too. At least the effective ones are. :-) Suerte!

Anonymous said...

love your blog very insightful... following you... chk mines out

Anthony Otero said...

Thank You BA! I will check out that book!


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