Thursday, October 21, 2010

On the Cusp

Someone told me that they can imagine me not writing another blog for awhile since the LBC Challenge. I have to admit she was right in the sense that I needed to take some days off from writing. Now that those days are now behind me, I have to just write some reflections.

First let me say that nothing makes a month go by slower than to count each day. When I was writing each entry of the LBC Challenge, I felt like each day was going by slower than the last. I loved writing like that every day, it showed me that I can layout subjects in advance, no matter how difficult, and still accomplish the task at hand. I really wish I had this type of motivation in college.

I really enjoyed my time in Utica, even though it was only for a few hours. I am so glad I had decided to write that speech instead of just "winging it". The speech was supposed to for twenty minutes and I will be completely surprised if I was up there for that long. I didn't want to drag and be boring to a bunch of college kids that ultimately just want to eat and dance.

I am glad that I injected some humor into it. The audience laughed when they needed to, which is always a good sign that they are following what is being said. I started to feel that while, I wrote this speech before hand, I was more talking to them rather than talking at them. The feeling is so very empowering when you begin to realize that people are really listening to something that you created.

Which brings me to my poetry. There was a reason why I added a poem to the ending of my speech. I wanted to see if I could do it. If i can read my poem in the way in was intended to be heard. I wanted to absolutely be sure that if I go down this road of public speaking, I need to be confident in all facets of my writing. Once I was done, a wave of confidence came over me as I walked back to my seat. I knew then that I could go on the road with my own creations and spit them out, because after all, they are my poems and I cannot worry if people will think they are good or not.

I think about the type of month that I have had up to this point. Several things have happened that has challenged me, my thought process, and my faith. First, my mother sent me a letter with a prayer card and a religious medal. I thought about how crazy it was to get it especially before my blog post on religion. No, she didn't not know about my blog or anything I write, so I was just taken back by this. I wont even mention the amount of dreams I have had during this past month that has made me think about the journey that I am currently on.

Then there is the fact that I feel that I have been hustling so much to get extra money to get myself in a good position to make the move I want to make. However, every time I get to that place where I feel so very comfortable...something breaks. The furnace broke in the beginning of the month and the refrigerator broke last week. These are the things that frustrate me because it does not help in my goal to get ahead. However, I am getting a third roommate. So this will indeed help my cause. (yes, I got both things fixed)

I haven't even mentioned that I still wrote this challenge during the busiest time of my life with SU Homecoming  being so busy. In fact, I had been working since 8:30am the day of the speech. I had to run home after a reception at 4:30pm, take the quickest shower of my life, shave, iron my shirt, get dressed, leave the house, get gas, and then get cash before I can finally hit the road. The event was at 7pm. I was on the road by 5:45pm and the drive was an hour. Talk about cutting it

I am motivated. I am really getting tired of being here. I need to break out. I actually took the time to talk to someone from Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, NY. They were up here for a graduate school fair last month. I am thinking about a Masters Degree in Writing. I have also had an offer from a good friend to be my agent so he can help me get more speaking gigs. I just need a head shot and write a Bio.

I am on the cusp of living my dream. I just need to get there.

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