I am a firm believer that you are never too old to learn. I am not a traditionalist. I question everything, including myself. I am not a perfect man, nor do I expect perfection from the people I know. However, I do expect people to be real. I love to laugh and to make people laugh. I have come to realize that the truth hurts, but in truth comes freedom. We all know it hurts to be free.
Friday, April 16, 2010
My Opinion on Women
Been struggling with blog topics lately. I think much of that has to do with the fact that I am just writing poetry all the time. Every so often I will get an idea based on a conversation that I will have with someone I know. Of course she knows I am a fellow blogger so I am thinking that at some point she knows I will blog about this. Her questions to be was very vague: What is your opinion on Women?
Not really sure how else I could have answered this. I like women. They are nice too look at. Some of my best friends are women. So I guess that means I have a pretty favorable opinion on them. However, I am not really sure that was the heart of her question. So I asked her to elaborate.
So then I get asked my feelings on women and relationships. Another broad and very vague topic. I can go in on this subject in numerous ways. However, I am not sure how to go about this. I want to say that women are essential to heterosexual relationships. I really didn't want to get into the whole theory that women are ruthless and have ulterior motives because, again I am not sure this is what she is really asking.
Recognizing that my answers were very short and not really going anywhere, she asks her real question: Women and Relationships, What do you think our issues are? She goes on to explain that she had a discussion with her friends about men. One friend went on to say that men play too many games and the other said that a good man is hard to find because most of them are not worth shit. Before I could tell her that she needs better friends, she went on to say that she is just trying to get a male perspective. I did answer her, but I am not sure that I answered this in a way that I really wanted to.
I told her that different women look for different things. Some look for the perfect man while others looking to change the "bad boys". I left my explanation just like that knowing that I did not go into a further explanation. Most likely because I know I was going to write a blog post about it.
So breaking it down further, I want to mention the perfect man scenario. I love TV and Movies, but I think we are in an age where we put people on a pedestal. Based on what I have seen, some women will idolize male characters on in films or tv shows as the type of man they want to find. This is utterly unrealistic. I am not saying that there is no good man out there, but many times what television and film does not portray are the mistakes these "perfect men" make. This makes it hard for any many to live up to such expectations.
Then there are the women that love the bad boys! I do realize that for someone women, good guys are boring and want some excitement in men that are assholes. It is has been my experience that these types of women are look to change men like this. That perhaps if they love him the right way or teach him how to love it will be a match made in heaven. Unfortunately things don't work out as well as planned.
Before any of you think that I am blaming just women, just remember that I have said many times that most men are assholes. We make many many mistakes. But it really depends on the women to see us for what we are. All men want the same thing but not all men are willing to work for it. I resent the idea that all men are shit, because that is simply not true. I think it is more likely that certain women are attracted to certain type of man and that becomes a cycle of destruction. However, there are women who do find that right man and it is everything it can be.
Maybe the issues is expectations. Are they too high? I am not sure. Are they unrealistic? I think that is a better possibility.
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I think some women have a tendency to find a man (good/bad/whatever) and try to make him into what she wants, instead of just finding one who is *already* what she wants. Not all women are like this, of course, but sometimes it sounds like some women feel like we're only allotted one guy each, so we just have to fix him to meet our expectations. lol And that is a recipe for disaster...
It really all comes down to what perspective you are looking at this from (male vs. female).
I had already started a similar blog entry about this, which I am hoping to post some time later, but to answer quickly...
I would argue that most women aren't looking to find a clone straight out of a Hollywood movie or fairy tale story. I'd actually like to think we are above thinking that way, much less expecting that.
I honestly can't tell you if our expectations are indeed unrealistic --- What would be an unrealistic expectation anyway?
But as far as standards go, if anything, I see many women whose standards aren't high ENOUGH, judging from all the things they put up with in relationships.
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