National Poetry Month 2011

It is that time of year again for me. I know that did this last year and I was a bit wet behind the ears because I wasn't sure I could do 30 poems in 30 days. I struggled with the notion that I was indeed a poet. Fast forward a year later and I realize that I am one. I was nervous because I was not really sure I can produce this type of work because I base everything I do on emotion.

I have discovered many things about myself over the past year. I also realized several different forms of writing and poetry. Haikus are something that I have been toying with and being creative with lately. My creative juices have been some what stifled by recent disappointments, yet my emotional level has been so very high. Anger, sadness, frustration, mixed in with a few moments joy and satisfaction. This is something I want to capture within this month.

I am not sure exactly how I am going to do this, I want to post my poems on my tumblr but I definitely want to post them on here. I think I will just do both because I learned that I have different audiences. As I write this I am only thinking about the feelings inside my chest. It is only April and I feel like it has been a long year.

So once again. Welcome to my heart and my head. It will be a ride for the next 30 days.

Time

One of the most valuable things we have in life is time. We do not think about time as a point of value, at least I didn't so much when I was younger. We give up our time to so many things like school, work, and to our loved ones. Depending on your point of view giving time to ourselves can be the better than all of the above.  Time is a precious commodity that many of take for granted because they do not understand it's personal value.

Businesses and Higher Education understand the value of time. There are many programs that are offered to students that have to with time management skills. How one spends their time is very important in balancing social activity with academic requirements. Employers are very keen in looking for those students who can manage their time effectively. Work-life issues come into play often because each one of us should be able to work and live. Often enough, one seems to out weights the other.

I am a believer in a healthy work ethic and being able to get ahead by any means necessary. Many times, being a person of color means that you have to work harder than your white counterpart and even if that is not the reality, it sure does feel like it. So those of us who work hard often find that out that our social lives are effected based on the level of success that we are willing to attain.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine (and fellow blogger) a few weeks ago and it was actually a bit of an argument because at first I was not feeling what she was telling me. We talked about how busy our work lives can be and the potential for a dating life seemed low. I know that I have been adamant that I am not ready to date based on the uncertainty of my life and for the fact that I am simply too busy. Her response was very clear: We all make time for what we want.

This was a statement that took me back a bit. I was thinking that this cannot be true because I know that I am a busy person. I work all the time and this doesn't effect my...social...life (pause). Of course, my point is that anyone of us can be legitimately busy with something but then she pointed out that often times people use that as excuse to blow off other people. Not that blowing off people is always a bad thing but let's call it what it is. There are times where we do not want to speak to someone for whatever reason even if we really love them.

Time is a precious thing that we may not use to the best of our ability. Sure, some of us get paid at our places of employment but what about the time we place for ourselves? We choose to share time with others if we want. We choose to decide if we are too busy for that 5 minute phone call to our parents or friends. While those 5 minutes may seem like a burden for some, that small increment of time may mean the world to others. Time has a value that we cannot fully comprehend until it is too late.

As I get older, I feel the weight of time just in its intrinsic value. I am still a young man but, I have seem what time has done to the people around me. I have seen the effects of drugs, stress, loneliness, and crime. I have seen what happens when you settle for something that is less then what is deserved and toll it takes on a person. I personally know what it is like to make a mistake and spend years in a blind state before realizing it.  We take time for granted because we think we have enough of it.

Yet, time is both finite and infinite.

Thoughts of Japan

Time like these we need to understand our place in this world. I think that so many times we are caught up in our own messes that we do not see what is going on around us. Japan is still suffering from a massive earthquake and tsunami (as well as over 700 aftershocks). The threat of a nuclear meltdown is still out there and that makes Japan seem almost unlivable. All this makes me very sad and forces me to remind myself of my own privilege.

I remind myself that I cannot take my disappointments all to heart because I still have a roof over my head. I still have a job for me to go to. I know that when I call my parents and my friends, they are still there and not buried under rubble some where. I cannot even imagine the level of loss that the Japanese have been through, but I do know that it is greater than any personal loss or heartbreak than I have ever faced.

I think I complain about fate and how unfair it is from me to still be here in Syracuse, but in the grand scheme of things, it does not really mean much. I think that perhaps I am still here for a reason. Maybe there is something that is keeping me here until I have completed some task. Whatever the case is, I know that complaining about my life is something that privileged people do.

My parents worked hard to make sure that I didn't have certain experiences and even though I grew up n the Bronx, I was not in the element. That could have been due to overprotection or perhaps my family made sure I was never in the wrong place at the wrong time. My father had instilled in me this fear that had I taken drugs, my ass would suffer a beating that I may never recover from. All in all, I turned out in a position that allowed me to be where I am now.

Yet, I think about how it would be to lose everything. To wake up one day and everything is just gone. I think we place so much value on things that do not matter in the end. We cannot take money or possessions with us when we die. It can be seen first hand in many of the tsunami videos how entire cities are swept way. Cars, houses, people, livestock, everything just gone in what some would call an act of God type of event.

I mentioned on Facebook how sad I was that Japan may never be the same. Sure, I have never been there but do I have to have been there to understand that a whole country is just devastated? The earthquake was so bad that the island moved 8 inches. Some people have the nerve to say that this was payback for Pearl Harbor (which is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard). Only people who do not understand history would make remarks like that. Not to mention that earthquakes are natural events that every planet has. The land masses on this world have been moving for thousands of years and nothing with stop that.

So what should we take from this? Something that I have always said, we need to tell the ones we love that we do love them. Life is short, plain and simple. Sure, maybe I am emotional about it, but those who truly love us will understand this.

Below is the scariest video I have seen. Please keep Japan in your thoughts and prayers.