Monday, August 24, 2009

How Much for a Broken Heart?

Last night I am doing laundry and I decided to turn the TV to HBO so I can watch my new favorite show, Hung. If you haven't seen this show, the premise is that main character, Ray is a man whore. He is pimped out by this lady and they have clientele. It is actually a pretty good show that has a lot of moments that make you go...OMG. If you do watch the show and did not see last night's episode, you might want to see it first before reading this.

Anyway, during his travels, Ray, falls for this woman named Jemma and he thinks she might be the one for him. Of course, every time he sees her, she pays him after the night is over. So, just when he takes her out for real, Ray tells Jemma that she does not have to pay anymore because this is real. So they go out and at the end of the night, he is thinking about how different the sex was and he might be falling in love again. He wakes up in the morning to find a wad of money on the pillow.

Which brings us to last nights episode. Jemma calls him and breaks it off. He finds this hard to believe and finds a way to show her that he is serious. He writes this letter and brings it to her. Ray tells her to read the letter because it is from his heart. She goes..."Fuck your heart". I think my jaw dropped just as much as his. I kinda felt his pain. He was just standing there asking how did she just change overnight.

Ray is devastated and gets drunk. His pimp, Tanya, visits him and tells him that Jemma did this on purpose. She wanted to break some one's heart in the same way her's had been broken. Not only did she want to break his heart she wanted to do it with no explanation and to top it off, do it to a man that was as caring as she was. She told Tonya that Ray made her happy too. In end...she paid Tanya 2 thousand dollars. Again, I am shocked. I automatically asked, How much is a broken heart worth?

Clearly this just a show, but this makes me think about all the things that have happened to me and the people around me. As I stated, everyone is going through something. When it comes down to it, we know when we break some one's heart. We all know how shitty it is. But as I said before, being vindictive is not the answer. I wrote a blog weeks ago about The Scourge, which is a man scorn. I never though about a woman scorn in the same aspect as man scorn.

See, when I think about a woman scorn I think about Waiting to Exhale. When Bernadine burns her husband's car with the clothes inside is the perfect image of a woman scorn. I would not have thought about a woman who could use another man and then shatter his heart. I would just normally assume that most women understand love, but as I have come to realize...I take too many things at face value. I forget that women can be ruthless and I need to be very careful who I trust.

Which brings me back to my question about the value of a broken heart. I am not so sure I would have taken that money (then again, I wouldn't be a man whore). The money seemed so dirty at that point. It made me realize about how people tend to think money can solve everything. I have seen women become so vindictive, in terms of a divorce, in which taking money from the man becomes much more important than mending the broken heart they have. In which case, does half a man's possessions become that value of that broken heart?

I very much believe that revenge and vindictiveness will very much make a person's heart turn to ice. It can take the person with the biggest heart and shrink it. So what is the value of a broken heart? I think that the value can never be determined. But I will say that breaking some one's heart may cost you your own heart.


phoenix said...

But I will say that breaking some one's heart may cost you your own heart.

I agree so much with this point. It's like people feed the bitterness and it grows within them to the point where this vindictive streak is consuming and second nature.

(I have to get HBO!!!)

Corina said...

I saw that last night. I think he got kicked in the teeth for several reasons. He failed to read the signs and play by the rules and in the end he got caught up in what was clearly meant to be a game.

My favorite part was when his ex-wife told him that she "divorced a boy to marry a man". I think that sums Ray up pretty well.

Of course this is fiction. In real life I know it hurts like hell to get dumped. It hurts so much that most of us never want to even consider giving a piece of ourselves again.

I think women are very capable of being vindictive however I don't think that the majority of women are like the ones we see on TV and hear of in the news that want to take a man to the cleaners when he dumps her. I know that many of us wouldn't take a penny from that jerk if we didn't have to (as in to support our young children).

There's a lot in this post to think about and discuss. I love that show, too. I only have another week left of my free three month trial for HBO and I'm trying to figure out a way to keep it without having to pay for it. I am even considering changing to another cable service so I can get another free trial!

Eccentric_Girl said...

I've read a couple of your entries, and I have to say it's funny I discovered your blog at a time in which I can relate to them so much.

I felt a de ja vu sensation when I read "he was just standing there asking how did she just change overnight". It's a very shitty position to be in. I don't wish that on anybody.

I had a horrible break up this summer on the day of my birthday. Yeah, nice birthday present huh? It was a relationship over 3 years. I was devastated and still am, although I hide it fairly well on most days.

Each day I am convinced though, that I have made the right decision by not choosing the route of vindictiveness, even if I know that is what he deserves for breaking my heart the way he did.

Honestly, I just couldn't be vindictive. I care about him too much and still love him even now.

Anyway, I have to believe that life will eventually take care of him and that all that's happening is for the better good.

I choose the path of forgiveness and acceptance, rather than vindictiveness and hate. In the end, I don't want to be a bitter person after this experience.

Thanks for the blog!

Anthony Otero said... do you not have HBO? You of all people? Vindictiveness never solves anything.

I saw a story on Sports Center last night about how 2 friends who ride motor bikes got into in accident during a race that left on of them crippled. The injured boy is paralyzec from the chest down and he carried so much anger. At the right moment he took his reveng on former and ended up almost serving jail time. THe point is u dont win by caving in to bitterness.

Anthony Otero said...

Corina, I am open to any discussions about this... I think you need to find a way to keep your

EG - I completely feel you. It has been a rough year for me as well. But, we will get through this as best we can.

I have a friend who just broke up with a woman and i told him that the best advice I can give him is to forgive himself for whatever he felt he did wrong in this situation. That is all you can do really...

Unknown said...

can it be measured by the cost and time it takes to heal it?

material things cannot mend a broken heart. time doesn't always do it either.

i'm almost certain at this point that it takes love and faith to heal oneself after losing someone. love of yourself, faith in yourself, believe that you will find love and comfort again, faith in life, in believing that "it was all for the best"...

i couldn't place a price tag on my broken hearts because in the end, i made do with the pieces and moved forward, but that cost me many tears and hardships as i struggled to make sense of it all.

if anything, the greatest price you pay when having your heart broken is your happiness, your hope, your faith... and all of the money spent on Ben & Jerry's and Courvasier. :-)


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