Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I am Stumped!

I have to admit I am stumped. I am not sure what to do with my life at this moment in time. I know what want. But, getting there is a something I am not sure about. I already know that my days in Syracuse are numbered as it is, but it is a matter of when.

Going into this semester I feel myself being excited to have the students back. I look forward to the many new challenges my job has to offer. The issue for me is that I think I have learned all I can learn and I need to move on. Now, with that said, I know that I need to prepare myself for any transition in my life, which is what grad school will do for me. Unfortunately, in order for me to truly move up in my field, I need to get a Master's Degree.

There is something about this that doesn't sit well with me. I am willing to put in the work. I am willing to learn about education and how we can improve it to benefit the Latino youth. What gets me is the amount of work I have put in up to this point. I love working for the University but I feel lost because of the lack of representation within the staff. This does frustrate me, but, when I look at the students that need my help, I seem to forget about all that.

What do I want to do? Well, I want to write a book. I just do not know how I get to the point of pitching this idea I have to someone who would be willing to give me a chance an publish it. This goes well beyond my aspirations of being a short story writer. I am just not sure if this is something I should do after I get my Masters, or before, or during.

I am also nervous because once I walk down this path, there is no going back. I love what I do now, but I feel the time may come to take chance on my abilities. I know that I eluded being on the "The Precipice of Solitude", but I am also the brink of something better. I just cannot put my finger on it.

1 comment:

Corina said...

I don't know enough about your situation but I do know that things will reveal themselves and a path will emerge when the time is right. Just keep on going and watch for that path.

Writing a book is something that will take a long while and probably a number of rewrites so I don't think it's a matter of when to do it. Just start working on it now and let that evolve as it may. Don't be in a rush to do it unless that's what you want your main focus to be then maybe you need to focus on it full time?

It sounds like you hear a calling that you didn't expect to hear. Listen and see if that's what it really is telling you to do.

Yeah, kids need us. Just think how the kids feel about not being represented there. If you feel it at work, I'm sure they feel it too.


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