Friday, February 20, 2009


I believe that we all have to live by the choices that we make. Not all choices are easy nor do they matter if they are right or not, we have to live with them. Frequently, I hear about how willpower can determine one's actions or lack there of. This is something I have been thinking about all day and I have come to the conclusion that no matter the outcome of something, it is all a matter of choice.

God gave us free will. This is what separates us from other animals on this planet because we operate on decision making rather than instinct. The ability to accept or decline temptation, in its many forms, comes down to choice. Many people will say that willpower is what drives people to make a choice. I think that is a valid argument, but at the end of the day it is still a matter of making a decision on something.

I know I am being vague and I am doing that on purpose. Temptations are all around us. Food and sex (not necessarily together...but sure that could work too) I feel, are the two thing biggest temptations that we all have. We all choose to eat when we are hungry, and (hopefully) we choose to have sex when we are horny, but it is the choice of what we eat and who we sleep with that makes all the difference.

So, if you feel you have no willpower then that gives you the right to make a choice you know may not be good for you later? Does it make it ok for a life long smoker to say, "I just don't have the willpower to quit" when this person knows that smoke can lead to death? These are choices that are made to satisfy a need or a craving of some kind. We crave to eat the wrong things. We crave to have sex with the wrong people. Willpower can just be an excuse to make a decision in either direction.

I have a friend that people talk about. This person has a spouse that rules his world. When they went through hardships, she decided to take some time off, which leads to him being able to hang out more. Now, this man never ever hangs out. People have felt bad for him in thinking that he is on lock down. So after months of hanging out....she comes back and now, homeboy does not go out. I don't feel bad for him. Not anymore. I have come to realize that it does not matter what I think about him and my perception of how bad his situation is. It is all about him making that choice to not hang out with his friends. There is no willpower involved there. Sure, I could have made the argument that he should stand up to her, but that is his choice.

I just get tired of hearing from dear friends and loved ones that they do not have the willpower to do something; that is bullshit, you simply do not want to do whatever it you say you want to do. We all make choices for good or for bad, it is about time we start owning up to them.

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