Monday, June 15, 2009

Most Men are Assholes...

I say most men are asshole and while that may not be true, I do think that all men have the capacity to be. I have gotten to the point in my life where I am just tired of seeing women I know be hurt by the men they love. I am taking this opportunity to tell them...I understand. Maybe my words to can offer comfort or better yet some understanding about men.

Last week in Brookey's Cafe Blog, there was some discussion about how men confuse women. Now, I think men are simple people. Most of the time they do not over think things, they just do it. I wont go into what was discussed, I would just urge you read the blog and the comments. That discussion made me think about how men are in general. I will speak broadly about men fully understanding that not all men are this way. However, all men have the potential to be assholes given the right (or wrong) situation.

We all make mistakes. There is no way around it and if you are a woman you may think that men make way too many mistakes. I feel that it is how you deal with those mistakes that make you the man you really are. Most men do not know how to deal with situations that involve emotion. I am know am guilty of this. You have guys that will deal with pain and hurt by becoming angry and lashing out. Do you ever wonder why a man will get mad when he got caught cheating? He doesn't know how to deal with this. However, I think a true man admits his mistakes and deals with the consequences, whatever they may be.

Which is why men lie. They lie because they know what they are doing is wrong. I do not mean the little white lies, like lying about if he took out the garbage (meanwhile he runs out and does it when you are not looking). I am talking about the lies that can hurt a relationship. His first reaction and thought will always be, "Well, I do not want to hurt her", as if they feel women do not have the strength to take it. Most men will forget they have mothers that are just as strong if not stronger than they are.

Most men are assholes because of the fragile male ego. They want to feel wanted. Not to say the the relationship they are in doesn't cater to them. Maybe they do not notice it or simply take what they have for granted. Of course none of us knows what happens behind closed door so it could very well be they feel unappreciated in their marriage or relationship. Who knows! The point is that most men have difficulty relaying this. They don't want to hurt their partner. But, some will have the balls to look outside the relationship.

Again mistakes happen and maybe there was an instance in which a man sleeps with another woman and regrets it (i.e. Sex and the City). Stuff like this does happen. Which makes him an asshole for not telling his partner that he feel a certain way before he did his thing. At the time, when men are doing their thing, they do think they will not get caught. Some men will even flaunt the fact. But the law of averages and karma will always be on the woman's side. They will get caught or will feel the guilt so much that at some point they will admit to what is truly happening.

Single men are just as bad. Do not think that because a man is single he is perfect guy. However, I would urge you not to judge him on his past alone. I mean, face it, he could be lying about his past relationship. Women need to be careful of the guy who has gotten burned by other women. He becomes the asshole that give all men a bad name. I call him the Scourge. I save him for another blog.

I am not saying all men are bad. They aren't. I think I am a great guy but I have been an asshole. I am just tired of seeing women go through shit when all we, as guys, had to do is be true to them and to ourselves.


LatinaNegrita said...

You're right. Men don't realize how strong us women are. Being truthful and having the cojones to stand up and tell the truth will be very appreciated. Despite the hurt and the pain from hearing the truth, the fact that you were truthful makes all the difference in the world. It makes such a difference that if the decision was to stay or leave, she just may stay.

Serena W. said...

A brother that will be a great blog. It's funny Ant that dudes would lash out instead of telling the truth and you are soooooooooooo right about dear Karma. She is a force to be reckoned with and men and women who do wrong should know (or you would think know) that she will come back to get you!

Great blog! Can't wait to read about the dude who has been scorn in your blog!

Anonymous said...

That was great, got some good inside. Little more understanding. And your right it work both ways.

Anonymous said...

I think that making blanket statements that aren't based on tautology is treading on thin ice, especially when none of the claims that are made are backed up with facts. It's really unfair to say that all men do this, or all men do that, or all women are benevolent. You would think that as a minority you would know better than to generalize in this way.


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