Monday, March 9, 2009

20 Questions for Men who are not like Me.

A few things that I don't do often that I am doing now. The first is I do not write blogs this early. Secondly, I tend to not write about being a man...which I guess I could try. Never thought about it. Thirdly, I try not to imitate another blogger. Although, flattery is indeed the biggest form of imitation...or was it the other way around. (see why I don't blog in the morning).

Anyway, a friend of mine past along this blog to me this morning called 20 Questions for Women who aren't us. So I decided that I might just give this a try and just throw out 20 questions for men who are not me.

1. Do you really think your dick is that big?

2. Is it that hard to iron your clothes in the morning? Better yet, just do a once over.

3. Do you realize a baseball cap does not go with everything you wear? I am sure when the designers of the new Yankee hats, that pop up every minute, did not have a suit and tie in mind when they put that hat together.

4. Must you tell me how many women you been with? I really do not care to know and please hold the details.

5. Are you in that much of a rush that when exit the bathroom without washing your hands? At least run water on them!

6. Why do you think you look cool with your pants hanging down past your ass? It really is stupid.

7. Do you really feel the need to look Gangsta on Facebook? I really wonder if real gangstas even have time for Facebook.

8. I understand that you are bigger than me, but why are trying to pull my arm off when you shake my hand? I have class ring on, so you do leave the SU crest on my middle finger, here let me show you...thanks.

9. I know we are in a locker room, but seriously, do you really see the need to have this conversation when your nuts are out? Get dressed.

10. Just so we are clear, why would you hit a woman? I mean, clearly your ex-girl texted you and you got caught out there. But did you really have to do all that?

11. Dude, do you really think I want here about how you shave every every hair on your body?

12. When are you going to realize that you do not wear white socks with a suit? That is just as bad as wearing the baseball cap.

13. Did you really just ask me why we do not celebrate White Heritage Month?

14. How can you be 40 years old and still listen to Jay Z?

15. Do you really think you are all that? Seriously, the world does not revolve around you.

16. So, because you have an SUV, does it mean that you have to ride my ass in a 20 mile zone? Then you get mad when you pass me as if the School we just passed isn't open...asshole.

17. You do realize the stripper you just tipped doesn't really like you?

18. Is the weed that good that you need to smoke it everyday?

19. Mailman, is it that hard to close the mailbox when it is raining? Then you wonder why people sick their dogs on you when the see the soggy mail you left...jerk.

20. You do know Stars Wars is not real right? Sure I love it too, but you do see me dressing up as a storm trooper on days that are not Halloween.


Serena W. said...

I love this one, "So, because you have an SUV, does it mean that you have to ride my ass in a 20 mile zone?"

Dude you see the pick up trucks that ride up on people out here in Texas! They make my SUV look like a small hatchback lol! I like how you twisted the questions for men!

Social MZ said...

15. Do you really think you are all that? Seriously, the world does not revolve around you.

oh yea ... i know a few people i could say this too ..... >:-D

Liz said...

Hi there -- I'm the person who wrote that original list and I just wanted to let you know I loved your take on it. Really well done!


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